Kristina Lunde

The Lord is my strength and my song.
Psalm 118:14a

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August 1, 2018 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

The Move: A Mom’s Reflections on Boxes and Stuff

Boxes. Clothes. Stuff. First-world problems of too much stuff in the basement. Boxes of my children’s stuff: school memories, projects, photo albums, and yearbooks. A trumpet, music stand, and tennis racket in the corner. Clothes, costumes, and uniforms on a hanging rod, long neglected and outdated. Former extracurricular pursuits, now abandoned for a focus on college classes and career preparation.

Not only my children’s boxes, but boxes of stuff belonging to my husband and me. Plus memorabilia from deceased relatives. I am the keeper of family mementos, my house the repository of family history. My parents’ photo albums, dating back to the 1930s. Super 8 mm movies from the 1960s-1970s in their metal tins with a matching movie projector. Prom pictures from the 70s, photos, souvenirs, and clothing from my late husband’s life, stored for my children to sort through some day. More stuff in labeled boxes.

Hours spent sorting, donating, and re-packing the stuff. Carloads of boxes and items donated. Boxes and more stuff, memory after stored memory, lugged out of the basement, out of the house.

Not many memories from the room itself: a few projects completed and a water softener that ate large bags of salt. The heady stench of marker and the ripping noise of packing tape ceased; the empty room awaited only cleaning before the move. I noticed the smell of moisture from the concrete basement floor. My California daughter used to correlate that smell of humidity with her Midwestern grandmother’s house. “It smells like Oma’s basement.” How quickly that became our own overlooked basement smell once we moved to Minnesota.

Swish, swish. The sound of the broom clearing the last of the room. A residual of dust and bugs where life and memories had been stored.

And then I saw the vertical wooden column upon which I had tallied my children’s growth. Dates, ages, and initials of both kids, their growth verified on the upright framing. The 2 by 4 stood sentry next to a big black plumbing pipe, both essential to the house structure. I snapped a photo and took only memories along with me.

The newly-cleaned basement and house seemed lonely. No kid shrieks or laughter; no youthful energy inside. Gone were the door slams from frustrated teenagers. No kids racing downstairs as I trudged up with box after box. From solid concrete to soft carpet, stuff traveled up the stairs, out the door, and onto the trailer.

Slosh, slosh. The mop diffused a clean smell. A sanitized room awaited the home buyer.

Goodbye home. Goodbye to the place where my children laughed, played, and grew. And grew. And grew. And then they launched.

Thank you, Lord, for your provision and protection as we grew and made memories in our wonderful home. Please bless the new owners.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: boxes, empty nest, mothering, moving, parenting, stuff, teenagers, widow

April 28, 2018 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Parenting, Plimsoll Lines, and Priorities

Parenting. Plimsoll lines. Priorities. A Plimsoll line illustrates a maritime law that involves oceans, ballast, and cargo ships. This seemingly unrelated concept became an insightful parenting metaphor in my friend Teresa’s recent MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) talk.

In the 1870s, British Parliament member Samuel Plimsoll examined the ongoing problem of overloaded commercial shipping vessels sinking at sea. He developed maximum depth standards for safe loading of ships’ cargo. These standards evaluated factors like salt/sea water, size of ship, time of year, and type of load to determine how deeply the ship could be immersed in water and still safely carry cargo. In 1876, British law mandated that load limits be indicated by a reference line painted on the ship’s hull. These reference lines became known as Plimsoll lines which remain a part of international maritime law.

A Plimsoll line that disappears underwater is an obvious mark of an overloaded ship. Teresa emphasized that principle to the mothers at our MOPS meeting. She spoke of the importance of evaluating our individual situation and then determining our “Plimsoll line,” the point at which we are maximally loaded with responsibilities. Teresa emphasized that, just as Plimsoll lines take into account load factors and seasons, so we need to determine what we can manage and how close we are to sinking.

Teresa’s motivating talk centered on our ultimate goal of following Christ and how we set goals based upon that foundation. As she described how to set realistic parenting and personal goals, Teresa cautioned us to avoid busy-ness and distractions that keep us from doing what God wants us to do. She encouraged us to exercise our “no muscle” by deliberately saying no to activities that would exceed our Plimsoll lines and cause us to sink.

Although she missed Teresa’s talk, our discussion group leader Staci became a great example of using a Plimsoll line. With three boys ages five and under, Staci is a dynamic example of following Christ. As a MOPS mentor mom, I am honored to be part of Staci’s table. On the Wednesdays that MOPS does not meet, Staci sets up playdates for our group. She is involved with high-schoolers, both in her church as youth group helper and in the community as the high school musical choreographer.

On the MOPS morning that Teresa spoke, Staci decided to stay home with her boys. No specific reason, but she said they needed to have a quiet day at home. Little did Staci realize that exercising her “no muscle” in that way was a much-needed preparation for what happened later. That night, her son Jace became sick with vomiting and a fever. Because Staci had recognized her Plimsoll line and cut back on her daytime activities, she had the resources for her long night of illness-assessing, child-comforting, and linen-changing. Staci’s choice also spared the other MOPS’ kids from sharing the nasty virus.

Dear God, please give us wisdom to establish Plimsoll lines for our lives. Teach us how to set goals and relevant boundaries as we follow Christ. In His name we pray. Amen.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: MOPS, mothering, parenting, Plimsoll line

April 17, 2017 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Grief Support: A Letter to Grieving Children

[Note: this grief letter was sent to the siblings of a child who died suddenly.]

You do not know me, but I am praying that God will be with you when you get sad and miss your brother. (Those feelings of sadness and loss are called grief.) I wanted to send you some things so that you and your family could write, draw, and remember your brother by making a memory book.

When someone you love dies, you often think of them. I am sure you miss playing with your brother and hearing his voice. My two children were 6 and 8 years old when their daddy, who was my husband, died. One of their favorite parts of the Bible, that helped them feel better, was John 14:1-4:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”

Those were Jesus’ words to His disciples, or helpers, before He died. Jesus died, but He did not stay dead. He rose, or came alive again, and went to heaven to be with God, His Father. That is the same place—heaven or eternal life—that we will go to if we believe in Jesus, like the Bible tells us in John 3:16:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

When someone dies, we do not see them anymore. But if they know Jesus, we can be sure that they are in heaven. My kids liked to think that their daddy was working with Jesus, building the house in heaven, and getting it ready for when we go to heaven later. Maybe that is a picture you can have in your mind to help you. What would your brother like to do in a big house with Jesus?

Another way to think of heaven is when birds fly south for the winter. We stay here and freeze in the winter, but the birds are alive and enjoying the warm weather somewhere where we cannot see them. That might be another idea of how you can think of your brother: alive with Jesus and having fun, even though you cannot see him.

May God comfort you and help you to understand more about Jesus, even though your family misses your brother so much.

[Note: If you have experienced the death of a loved one, check out GriefShare to sign up for daily emails of comfort and encouragement or to find a local GriefShare group.]

Filed Under: Grief Tagged With: grief, grieving children, letter, parenting

March 31, 2017 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Toddler Tantrums: A Patient Father and a Heavenly Parallel

The weary-eyed parents scanned the checkout area at Walmart, searching for a short cashier line to duck into. Mom led the procession, with a grade-school-aged daughter and a shopping cart. Behind her, the mother pulled a sparkly, powder-blue girl’s bicycle, trimmed with shiny streamers from both handlebar ends. Patient Dad followed behind the girl’s bike with a screaming toddler in the cart. The two-year-old sat slumped in a tantrum with head down, tears flowing, and arms flailing.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Yamaha-Moto-12-Child-s-BMX-Bike/17242520
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Yamaha-Moto-12-Child-s-BMX-Bike/17242520

Next to the boy, and unnoticed by him, sat a toddler-size ride-on toy. It was a tiny BMX bike—an amazing mini-vehicle! Royal blue and white aerodynamic fenders swooped along the bike, accented by fun chrome details. Every toddler’s dream gift, but even that could not distract the boy. Instead, his energy was focused solely on the expression of his fatigue and frustration.

A few minutes later, settled into a cashier line myself, I looked to see the source of new shrieking. Same toddler, but by this time, the family had found a cashier line. Only the father and son were visible beyond the shelves. The boy was on the floor tantruming as he screeched. Obviously the father had removed his son from the cart to allow the boy to flail unobstructed on the open floor. The father’s patient, watchful gaze never left the boy, ensuring his safety without accelerating the tantrum.

I had stopped by Walmart for a few groceries after Awana night at church. As a teacher of 3-5 year old Cubbies, I had dealt with my share of runny noses and tantrums that night. A few preschoolers in our group had those tired-and-crabby, scream-and-throw-yourself-down-on-the-floor type of tantrums. Although my own children had taught me well how to deal with such episodes of acting out (ignore, distract, don’t reinforce), I was still tired after that evening. (And yes, it had been a night of laughter, singing, telling about Jesus, and running around the gym as well, but it was dealing with the tantrums that wore me out.) And so I noticed and admired that patient and tired-looking father.

And then I recognized the parallel: isn’t that just how I act towards my heavenly Father?! Like that father with the beautiful gift in the cart, God has gifts planned for me, gifts that are perhaps even within arm’s reach, but often I tantrum in fatigue and frustration, not trusting my heavenly Father.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Just like that earthly father loved his son through the tantrum, God is the one who knows me, knows what I need, has a plan for me, and knows how to keep me safe from my own selfish episodes of acting out. God patiently waits through my mess and my undeserving actions, ready to love and forgive me.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

Lord, help me to realize that you are my loving heavenly Father, the source of all good gifts, and the one who patiently waits for me to come to you in repentance. Please teach me that you are worth giving up my tantrums for, so that I can trust and obey you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: parenting, tantrums, toddler

February 14, 2017 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Valentine’s Day Care Packages: Shoes and More

Two different kids, at two very different colleges, requested that mom send them the shoes they forgot at home. A shoe box is a shoe box, but it becomes so much more when filled with love and support for a Valentine’s Day care package.

Mr. Jorge Cruz/clipartfest.com
Mr. Jorge Cruz/clipartfest.com

Dear Ones,

To you it is only old shoes you ask for,
But I plan to send them along with much more.

You requested the shoes that you forgot,
But I hope to show you that I love you a lot.

You need the shoes for a practical reason,
But I will relate my package to the season.

Why can’t you throw them in the mail, you wonder.
But how can I transmit my love, I ponder.

Hurry up, I need my shoes, is your quick demand.
Instead, I take time to buy, bake, write, and plan.

What’s the big deal, to yourself you muse.
As I shoehorn my support into boxes of shoes.

“Anything fragile, liquid, perishable, or hazardous?”
“No,” I respond as I pay at the post office.

My love will not perish, no matter what I send in each one:
The shoes plus a note, cookies, chocolate, and gum.

Boxes of love and shoes are now on their way
To my dear children, Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love,
Mom

Filed Under: Letter Tagged With: care package, college, letter, parenting, Valentine’s Day

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