Kristina Lunde

The Lord is my strength and my song.
Psalm 118:14a

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January 30, 2023 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Gomer’s Lessons: Love God and Love Your Husband

Dear Modern Mama,
Not sure why I got asked to give advice. My life lesson sounds simple: love God and love your husband. But I learned it in painful and difficult ways. Let me tell the story.

Elohim, the one and only God, asked Hosea to take a prostitute for a wife. Can you imagine? A prophet of God sent to pick a prostitute for a wife! Pick any woman. No divinely selected woman. No promised blessing on the woman or the marriage. The prophet Hosea faithfully followed God’s direction, purposefully choosing a wife with a bad reputation. Hosea’s difficult marriage became an object lesson, played out publicly to teach all of Israel.

I know, because I am that whore, chosen out of my life of sin and debauchery. For Israelites, sexual sin outside of God’s design of marriage carried a penalty of death by stoning. But in the idol-worshipping society of my day, Israel tolerated all kinds of sexual sin: temple prostitutes, prostitute daughters, adulterous daughters-in-law, and men who indulged in all of that. As a wayward and rebellious woman, I indulged in that sinful culture, too. I earned a good living by selling myself. My male customers paid me generously in bread, water, wool, flax, oil, drink—even silver and gold.

Image by Atanas Paskalev from Pixabay

I did not know God when I met my husband Hosea. Back then, I didn’t want to meet God or some strange guy who thought he should be my husband. In my depraved lifestyle, I enjoyed earning money by fulfilling men’s sin-addicted thoughts. You can imagine how uncomfortable Hosea felt coming to where I worked. He looked so out of place, until he saw me and chose me. The idea of marriage came from Hosea, not me. At the time, I didn’t want to get married or have children. Somehow, I agreed to Hosea’s plan.

We had kids right away. Hosea insisted on naming our kids, with names he said God gave him. Fine with me, I didn’t care about the kids at first. I didn’t know how to parent children. I didn’t want to be a mother; kids just interrupted my work. Hosea named our first boy Jezreel, same as the valley city where King Jehu massacred the house of Ahab. With our daughter, Hosea said God wanted her name to be Lo-ruhamah, or “not loved.” Hosea called our next son Lo-ammi, which means “not my people.” I figured Hosea and God tried to shame me with that one, because, with my extramarital activities, how could I ever know who was the father?!

Even stranger, Hosea later renamed our younger kids. He took the “Lo” part off, calling them Ruhamah, or “loved,” and Ammi, “my people.” Later, I ran out on Hosea, so I didn’t understand these things until I went back to my family.

According to Hosea, God came up with the plan, the one thing Hosea did that I most love him for. After all my sinful betrayals, would you believe Hosea came to the slave block to buy me back? Not that anyone else cared to bid. But it got a lot of attention—everyone in town knew about our sham marriage and how I lived. I deserved nothing, but my dear Hosea bought me back and took me home.

Hosea taught me about true love, and more importantly, about God’s love. Just like God does for us, Hosea demonstrated unconditional love for me, an unworthy sinner. Our story became an object lesson of God’s mercy and forgiveness for all Israel. Not just a lesson for that time, but an enduring human parallel of God’s love and redemption. (Read it for yourself in my husband’s book.)

My Hosea is my hero. So many times I betrayed Hosea’s love and brought him nothing but shame. Yet he never stopped loving me. He bought me back from slavery when no one else would look at me. I know now that God chose to redeem me through Hosea’s love. My dear Hosea taught me how to love and obey Elohim. I am so grateful for my Elohim who gave me a chance.

Elohim, my one and only God.
Me, the sinner and whore.
Hosea, my beloved husband and redeemer.
My advice to you: love God and love your husband.

Love to you,
Gomer, late to learn about love, but grateful to be redeemed and restored

Filed Under: Letter, Parenting Tagged With: children, marriage, mother, parenting, redeem

August 22, 2022 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Hagar’s Assurance: God Sees and Hears You

Dear Modern Mama,

God sees and hears you in your parenting struggles. That assurance comes from this Bible mama, but I write to you from my painful experiences of abuse, betrayal, and single-parenting.

Image by SeeMoon JaaMoon/Pixabay

I worked as a servant girl for Abram and Sarai long before God changed their names. An old couple without children, they treated the members of their household work force as family. I loved working for them—until they abused me. I couldn’t believe that boss-lady Sarai sent me in to be raped by her husband. After all my loyalty and hard work, they betrayed and abused me. When they found out I was pregnant, Sarai blamed everything on her husband, but she was the one who started this mess!

Sarai treated me so cruelly that I ran away into the desert, where the angel of the Lord found me by a spring. When He spoke to me by name and mentioned my mistress Sarai, I admitted that I ran away from her. The angel of the Lord then told me to go back and submit to her. He prophesied that my future generations would be too many to count.

Then He told me that I would have a son and should name him Ishmael. After reassuring me that the Lord had heard of my misery, He added some scary details. My son would be a wild man, living in hostility against everyone and everyone would be against him. Those words described how I felt: hostile and that everyone had turned against me.

No human being would know all of that and speak personally to my concerns. In response, I blurted out my thoughts. “You are the God who sees me!” “I have now seen the One who sees me” (Genesis 16:13). So I named that well Beer Lahai Roi, which means well of the living One that sees me in Hebrew (Genesis 16:14).

Although I returned hopeful, jealousy filled the household fourteen years later when Abraham and Sarah had their son Isaac. When they banished Ishmael and me, we wandered into the desert together. Hungry, exhausted, and sure that we were going to die in that barren wasteland, we sat in separate places to cry.

Would you believe that God heard Ishmael crying?! This time, the voice came from heaven and instructed me to lift Ishmael off the ground and hold him by the hand. Then God promised to make Ishmael into a great nation. I did what God asked, and suddenly I saw a well. That proved to me that God not only saw us, but He heard us.

Do you know that mine is the first account of the angel of the Lord in the Bible?! A destitute rape victim banished to raise a wild child in the desert—but God never abandoned me. Instead, He blessed me with His appearance, prophecies, and provision. (Check out my story for yourself in chapters 16 and 21 of Genesis.)

From my personal experience with God, I learned this truth that I share with you: God sees you, hears you, and knows your situation. Although I struggled to raise Ishmael, I always knew that God saw, heard, and understood me. I knew that I could trust God no matter what happened. Please recognize that you, too, are seen, heard, and known by God. He might not appear to you in-person, but you have the truth of Jesus Christ in His Word. Trust Him even in the toughest parenting situations.

Love to you from Hagar
P.S. Did I tell you about my twelve grandsons?! (Genesis 25:12-18)

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: angel of the Lord, God hears, God sees, Hagar, Ishmael, mother, parenting, single parent, teenager, trust

April 20, 2022 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Daniel’s Mother on Child Training

Dear Modern Mama, Please consider this Bible verse as a parenting goal. God never showed me the outcome of my child training here on earth, but this is what He taught me:

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.

The Ten Commandments

“The way he should go” sounds very broad, but go back to the ten commandments in Exodus 20 (repeated in Deuteronomy 5) to review God’s primary guidelines for life. The first three commandments focus on our relationship with God. If we set God first above all else in our lives, the rest will fall into place. That means nothing gets placed ahead of God, not even our children. (Don’t know about you, but that challenged this dedicated mama!)

God’s name deserves worship, not to be abused or taken in vain. Using God’s name as intended means that we respect Him, tell others about God, and speak His truth in love. If we focus on God and His teaching in our own lives, it will flow out from us into our children. The time, energy, and resources we spend training our children can be filtered through God’s priorities for our own lives.

With God as our number one priority, we can invest in other relationships. The fourth commandment tells us to honor our father and mother. Our children will watch how we respect our parents and elders. If kids learn to treat family members with appreciation and dignity, they will apply those concepts to other adults. The other commandments list acts of disobedience against God and other people: murder, adultery, stealing, lying, and jealousy. Child-training teaches what obedience looks like, both how to act and how not to act.

God’s Plan

My husband and I taught our eldest Daniel and his younger siblings the ten commandments as we prepared them for God’s plan. You will not find us mentioned in the Bible, but we raised our children with love and dedication, teaching them about the Lord our God, the Holy One of Israel. Our goals for our children included a disciplined lifestyle, regular prayer time, and loyalty to God—concepts based on the ten commandments. I admit being very strict about some things, especially prayer and nutrition. My Danny-boy always ate his vegetables—the other kids, not often. Daniel learned everything so quickly and he loved to pray. To this proud Mama, my Danny-boy seemed to be a born leader.

When the Babylonian invaders kidnapped my Danny-boy and took him captive to their pagan nation, I became distraught. I never got to say goodbye, nor did I ever see my son again. Little could I imagine that God had orchestrated this for His good and His glory. I often thought of my forefather Israel. He saw his son Joseph again in that strange land of Egypt, decades after Joseph was presumed dead. Losing a son like that breaks a mama’s heart, but I had to keep going, raising my other children and still trusting God.

Photo by Rachael Crowe on Unsplash

Sometimes, dear Mama, we will not understand God’s plan until we get to heaven. God may launch our precious children from home long before we are ready to release them. Yes, I questioned God, His purpose and His ways, but ultimately I realized that the Lord my God is worth trusting even when I don’t understand.

God’s Parenting Lesson

Check out my son’s book, the biblical book of Daniel. You will learn that he continued to live out the priorities my husband and I taught him. My Danny-boy faced a lot of adversity as a captive in a far-away pagan land, but our Holy One of Israel blessed and protected the Israelites in exile. Despite much opposition, my Danny-boy and his friends shone like bright lights in the darkness, living out their love for the Lord our God. Looking back now, I understand Isaiah’s writing:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

And so, dear modern mama, I want to encourage you. Keep training your child in the way God directs, according to the ten commandments, because you may never know what God has planned for them.
Love to you from Daniel’s mother

Filed Under: Parenting, Trust Tagged With: child training, Daniel, launch, mother, parenting, teenagers, ten commandments, trust

March 31, 2022 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Mary’s Encouragement for the Mama of Imperfect Children

Dear Modern Mama,
Every mama needs to be validated, so I write to encourage you. As a long-ago mama from biblical times, I know that your life is very different than mine. Yet many aspects of motherhood remain the same: we love our children, serve them with devotion, and pray for them.

My first pregnancy happened in my teens. Engaged to my dear Joe, we were both virgins and planned to change that on our wedding night. The entire situation only makes sense if you know my firstborn’s story. It started with a surprise visit from an angel who told me what would happen. I knew about the Old Testament prophecies, but never dreamed that I would be part of their fulfillment.

Photo by Phil Hearing on Unsplash

Check out the account for yourself, in the first two chapters of Luke and Matthew. Those chapters do not describe all that Joe and I dealt with, from experiencing our community’s shame to obeying God’s unfolding plan. My story seemed unbelievable—an angel, the prophecies, my virginity—so we did not fight the accusations people made about us. Our role involved submission and obedience, even when we didn’t understand why and how God directed us. Those first few years of parenting involved so many moves: Nazareth, Bethlehem, Egypt—it’s all a blur now. To move so often in my day was unusual, but my Joe and I followed God’s directions.

Whether you deal with teenage pregnancy, household moves, undeserved community disapproval, or anything else, I encourage you to draw close to God and let Him guide you. Your life is part of God’s plan, even if you have no idea what God is doing. Believe me, I had to learn that too. God is worth following, even if people shame you, try to kill your child, or hurt you in other ways. I experienced all those things and more, but I tell you the truth: God will guide you through anything you face.

My personal motto became the words the angel said to me: “For no word from God will ever fail” (Luke 1:37). I hung onto those words every time I did not understand, which happened a lot. Joe and I experienced so many unusual events. We knew we needed to obey God and trust in what He said. I tried to take it all in, internally savoring and reflecting on everything that happened.

In the Bible, you will notice that I never preached or told people about my perfect son. Luke chapter 1 records my personal praise song to God during my pregnancy. Other than that, you don’t read a lot about me. Like I said, my job as God’s servant involved my mothering role. No one but me can say their child is perfect. That does not mean I had an easy workload! The imperfect kids came soon after Jesus, and then Joe and I dealt with discipline, misbehavior, and other challenges. All the while, I stayed busy with diapers, meals, household chores, and chasing kids. (Of course, you know all about that, but we did not have the luxuries you do: indoor bathrooms, running water, and toilets.)

As you know, a mama’s job involves lots of hands-on work. I encourage you to use those precious days, months, and years to teach your kids about God’s word and His son. As part of God’s plan, we mother and love our children, thereby becoming a role model of our heavenly Father’s love for us. You may never have a huge platform or speak to crowds, just as I never did, but your children will always watch, listen, and learn from you. My firstborn son proclaimed His story, not me. Instead, I fulfilled my God-given role by raising my children to honor the Lord.

Thank you for loving your kids as part of God’s plan and purpose for them. Our children are a blessing and a life purpose from our dear heavenly Father. May our Lord give you strength and stamina to raise your kids, no matter what challenges you face in parenting.

May your soul magnify the Lord and may your spirit rejoice in God your Savior (Luke 1:46-47), during this Christmas season and always!

Mary, the mother of one perfect child and a bunch of regular ones

[Originally posted December 2021]

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: encouragement, mother, obedience, parenting, submission, trust

March 31, 2022 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Parenting Advice for the Helicopter Mama

Dear Modern Mama,
Just wanted to send you a warning from what I learned as a biblical-era helicopter parent. You thought that helicopter parenting only occurred in modern times?! Helicopters, yes, but that parenting style of hovering, controlling, and meddling in your child’s life remains timeless.

Mamas love their kids and I am no different. My two boys, Jamie and Johnny, were the most adorable kids ever! My husband Zebedee taught them the fisherman’s life from a young age, just as his father did for him. Zeb and the boys made me so proud, every time they set off: in the early dawn, at sunset, or even into the dark when they fished all night. They knew that lake and they knew those fish. (All that without your fancy technology of weather reports, plastic nets, and those self-propelled motor-things!) My guys used sheer muscle strength to get the boat across the lake or to rush home during those pop-up storms on our Sea of Galilee.

My little Jamie & Johnny had their careers all set—or so Zeb and I thought. Until one day a rabbi-guy came looking for people to take with him. Simon and Andrew, sons of Zeb’s business partner, left their boat and followed the rabbi. Zeb said our boys did the same, leaving Zeb holding the fishing nets.

A rabbi chose our precious boys to school and train. As parents, we felt proud, since our people aren’t the book-learning folk usually chosen for those roles. Despite that honor, Zeb and I felt disappointed that Jamie and Johnny left everything, giving up a successful fishing business with a promising future. Instead, our boys followed this rabbi-teacher on his speaking gigs, listening and learning, but not earning any money. I wanted so much more for my Jamie and Johnny.

Can you believe this Jesus gave my boys a nickname? He called them “sons of thunder,” a title that defined my boys. How did Jesus know them so well after such a short time?! Maybe He saw me as I raised those thunderous toddlers, chasing them down to the lake and grabbing them before they jumped in Papa’s boat. From early on, Jamie & Johnny were energetic and adventurous, true sons of thunder. And Jesus just seemed to understand them, in a deep way.

Every proud Mama wants the best for her children. I saw such promise and talent in my boys, so I talked to Jesus one day about my Jamie and Johnny. (Jesus probably recognized that—why else would He have chosen them?!) I wanted my boys to get some prestige and reward for following this Jesus guy. You might accuse me of interfering with my boys’ career, but why couldn’t I make sure that Jesus realized what treasured workers He had in my boys?!

I told Jamie and Johnny to ask for a title, or a special position, from this rabbi. They had no real job description or job security; this Jesus guy just called them disciples. I thought I would make a small request on their behalf. Obviously, this rabbi liked my guys, so why not ask for the move-up position my boys deserved? I treated Jesus like the king my boys said he was, kneeling and hesitantly asking him for a favor. I’m sure my boys were mortified that I would ask for them—two grown men—to receive honors. I just thought I would help out a little bit.

When Jesus looked right at me and asked what I wanted, I had a weird feeling in my gut. But this proud, tough Mama did the asking. Basically, I wanted Jesus to place one of my sons on His right side and the other on His left when He became king. (In our culture, those positions are the seats of honor and power. And just because Simon got asked to follow first, didn’t mean that he should have an important spot. My boys were always better than Simon anyway.)

But oh the way that Jesus guy looked at me! I started to feel all guilty and my words sounded shallow as I spoke. Me, the “sons of thunder” Mama who fought for her kids’ rights! But the look Jesus gave me forced me to think about my motivations. I realized that my heart might be too proud. Instead of justifying my wonderful kids and their roles, my request sounded like a big, wrong ask. Jesus turned to my boys and asked if they could drink some kind of cup, which I didn’t understand. Then He told them that He was not in charge of seating arrangements. None of that made sense to me until much later.

I wondered about all that I heard about this Jesus. Because my boys got involved, I had to check this Jesus guy out. That rabbi’s words changed lives! Many who listened to Jesus felt challenged, encouraged, and motivated to follow Him. I met the women who followed him, and then I started being a groupie also. My life changed, and so did my boys’ lives. I will never forget that moment when I, along with the other women, followed the crowd from Galilee and then watched the horror of Jesus’ crucifixion. We stood far away—they don’t let women or kids come close—but it hurt even from that distance. But that was not the end of the story.

You can read that good news yourself, but I am writing to you, Modern Mama, so that you can learn from my mistakes. I wanted the best for my kids, but I should not have tried to get them privileges they did not deserve or ask for positions I knew nothing about. Now, I realize that I had no idea of God’s plans for my sons. My helicopter parenting plan for Jamie and Johnny involved fishing and money. Jesus taught them to be fishers of men, a deeper and more purposeful goal. That cup Jesus mentioned related to His suffering and death. I had no idea! I should have trusted God for my kids’ future, instead of trying to manipulate my own desires and plans for them. Now I see that my ideas were motivated by my pride and selfishness.

Please learn from me and realize that God’s plans for our kids will be different and better than we could ever dream of. Mamas, let go of your adult kids, and trust God to guide their “adulting.” Scares me to think of what would have happened if Zeb and I had convinced our boys to stay with the fishing business; many would not have heard about Jesus. Instead, Jamie and Johnny left all to follow and serve Jesus. And, Modern Mama, you are probably still—all these thousands of years later—reading the words that my Johnny heard from Jesus. The old me would be so proud, but the new me who learned to follow Jesus, says “Go God!”

God’s plans are always worth submitting to. Take that from this ancient Mama, who learned to follow Jesus and stop “helicoptering” her adult kids.

Love from Salome,
Follower of Jesus and Jamie & Johnny’s mother (in that order!)

(Designed to encourage tired mamas, this parenting advice is written using sarcastic humor to reflect on a biblical family’s narrative. Please read and study the Gospel accounts of James and John for yourself. In no way do I intend to misinterpret or misuse biblical passages.)
[Originally posted October 2021]

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: helicopter parent, launch, mother, parenting, teenagers, trust

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