comfort Archives - Kristina Lunde

God’s Comfort in Grief by Kristina Lunde

Announcing my new book entitled God’s Comfort in Grief: Meditations for the Newly Widowed. I celebrate the launch of my book even as I commemorate the twenty-year sadiversary of my husband Lee’s death. My grief relief came from the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3). For that, I am so thankful—and motivated to share God’s grief relief in my speaking and writing.

This is the book I needed after Lee died. Early on, I cried through my days and didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with life. The trauma of performing CPR on my husband and seeing him die before my eyes impacted everything. My basic life skills, and of course my executive functioning skills, disappeared. Simple tasks, like combing my hair and feeding my children, overwhelmed my incapacitated brain. In those first weeks and months after Lee died, my mind could not focus. I wanted a short easy-to-read book that prioritized God’s comfort while giving me grieving help and practical advice.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV

So I have finally published the book that I needed back in that newly widowed phase of my life. My memoirs tell the story (My River of Sorrow: A Widow’s Journey with God and Memorial Stones: Reflections from My River of Sorrow), but this new book describes early widowed grief and focuses on God’s promises. Each short chapter includes a Bible verse for comfort, an anecdote for connection, and grief-processing ideas for consideration.

When I write sympathy cards, I include encouraging Bible verses and grief processing concepts. For widows or widowers, I include a letter from my blogpost (Note: the blogpost content is relevant for any widowed person, although I use the term widow instead of widow/widower). Now, I can communicate that content—and much more—by gifting this small book. My hope is for grieving people to draw closer to the God of all comfort as they adjust to widowhood.

My Prayer

Lord God, you know exactly how to comfort widows and widowers, just like you uniquely comforted me. Oh Jesus, speak your truth and redemption into the lives of all who seek you in their grief. Help them process their sorrow and individual challenges as they grieve. Father God, pour your compassion and comfort into grieving hearts in miraculous ways, as only you can.

Dear Lord, twenty years ago, you picked up this distraught widow from her puddle of tears. Your love and comfort changed me into a functioning single parent. Through the years, you have rebuilt my life and given me a future I never imagined. Thank you, Lord, that I feel more nostalgia about Lee and gratitude to you rather than pain at this sadiversary. Only a mighty healing God like you can accomplish that miracle, and I am grateful. Please keep working miraculous grief relief in people’s lives, just like you have done for me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

A trip to my favorite consignment store during this COVID-19 pandemic provided a surprising social interaction last week. Only God knew that I would have a grief-related encounter. He orchestrated the timing, people, and circumstances for the event. My goal involved only getting out of the house to shop.

As often happens when I have time and money to shop, nothing fits, the clothing doesn’t look right, or I just can’t find anything. After my frustrations in the dressing room, I walked around the corner and looked at stuff that I didn’t really need or want to buy.

Suddenly two staff members moved quickly to the front of the store. “Sit down! Catch your breath!” They urged a customer to sit down in a chair. Then I heard heavy panting amid attempts to speak. Two employees were giving instructions to someone in obvious distress. “Rest a minute. Can I get you some water?” Thinking it was a medical emergency, I came around the clothes racks to offer help if needed.

Not all of the woman’s words were audible; she gasped for air and spoke from the chair. “Respiratory distress . . . in the hospital . . . nothing they could do.”

This was no medical emergency. The woman expressed her emotional pain, pouring out her grief after the recent death of a loved one. Thinking she was newly widowed, I came closer, hoping to speak with her. Two staff members were by her side, so I didn’t approach.

Instead, I took a pen and paper out of my purse and wrote down the GriefShare website link as I listened. By then, the second staff member had left, and the woman in the chair slowed her breathing. Her emotional pain tumbled out in disjointed words. “The clothes in the bags – I washed them all. They are brand names . . . good quality.” Her son had died suddenly after a short hospitalization.

When only one staff member stood at her side, I approached slowly and put my hand on the grieving woman’s shoulder. After a pause in the conversation, I mentioned that my husband died of a sudden heart attack sixteen years ago. Acknowledging that grief is very difficult, I asked how she was sleeping. I listened as the woman admitted that she could not sleep, eat, or focus on anything. All of that was normal, I assured her. Her brain had to work overtime to process the painful truth of her loved one’s death. I encouraged her to take care of herself in basic ways, like resting, eating, and drinking water.

Expressing concern over how hard she was working to wash, sort, and donate her son’s clothes, I advised her not to rush through those decisions. Instead, she should consider that there are people who will make quilts, teddy bears, and mementos with fabric from her loved one’s clothes. She mentioned that her granddaughter took some shirts to have teddy bears sewn.

Then I gave her the GriefShare link and suggested she sign up for the daily emails of comfort and encouragement. Also, she could look up grief support groups on the website. By that time, the woman had calmed her breathing. She stood up and walked toward the front door. I went back to browse the housewares.

“Where did that lady go?” I heard the store owner ask the cashier. After being pointed my way, the owner came over. “Thank you so much for helping that woman. How sad. I think things happen for a reason. Otherwise, what a coincidence that you were here at the time that lady came in!”

“I believe that God arranged those circumstances and that He had this all planned. He put all of this together knowing that that woman needed support.”

Later as I paid for my items, the cashier also thanked me. “My devotion this morning in Jesus Always [Jesus Always: Embracing Joy in His Presence by Sarah Young] was exactly about this kind of thing.”

“Don’t you love how God can teach us lessons and reinforce them in many ways?” I asked. At her agreement, I smiled.

Once again, I felt awe and honor at how God surprised me with an opportunity to comfort a grieving person (2 Corinthians 1:4-5).

Lord God, please comfort that precious woman whose son died. Give your comfort and peace to her whole family as they grieve this sudden death. Please be with those of us in the store that day: teach us to rely on you, share your love with others, and trust you to be involved in our everyday activities. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
[Originally posted April 2021]

Sadiversary Book Launch: God’s Comfort in Grief

My Prayer

Grief in a Thrift Shop