Kristina Lunde

The Lord is my strength and my song.
Psalm 118:14a

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August 19, 2016 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

AWANA Closing Program: Preschooler Distractions

The AWANA closing program was set to begin, and children, parents, and grandparents gathered inside the church for the celebration. I was on the lookout to welcome my section of Cubbies and help them cope with their preschooler distractions.

C’s mother, ready to confront her son’s weekly bout of separation anxiety, carried him over to me. Kicking and crying in his usual protest, C resisted when I peeled him out of his mother’s arms for our prearranged hand-off. I always waited for his mom’s timing and cue that she was ready for her son to separate; our weekly dance resulted in a calm C, usually within minutes. We had never handed off in front of an audience before, and I realized how cruel I must look, pulling a crying child out of mom’s loving arms. However, not long after C was in my arms and we sat down, he laughed as I distracted him with silly conversation.

K came in with her transition object, only this time it was a doll instead of her usual baby blanket. K’s mother, the exhaustion of strong-willed children evident on her face, was coping with simultaneous challenges from all three of her children. Oldest boy was testing limits and mom was implementing consequences presented even before the evening’s outing. Middle daughter was refusing to sit with her AWANA Sparks group. Not to be outdone, K, the youngest, began to tantrum when mom tried to sit elsewhere. Mom settled into place with our group of Cubbies, resigned to K’s refusal to separate and committed to ensure that her older children stayed with their groups.

As I calmed C on my lap, I looked over to see K present one of her rolling-on-the-floor tantrums. I usually dealt with that in the Cubbies classroom, where K’s occasional tantrums were short-lived and self-extinguished once her parents were out of sight and she received nothing but strange stares from her peers. Since mom was a captive audience, this particular session lasted longer and the doll became a drama prop.

“You are a good mom! Hang in there,” I encouraged K’s mother with a pat on her arm. It sounded so feeble and I wanted to encourage her further, but I had to tend to the rest of my preschooler group.

In bounded A, deliberately shaking her cupped hands together, a smug smirk of accomplishment spread across her sweet, three-year-old face. Sensing that this was likely a live one, snuck into the sanctuary for the big AWANA finale, I asked what was in her hands.

“A bug!” she proclaimed triumphantly, gracing me with a short peek as she cracked her otherwise clenched hands to reveal a black winged insect. Knowing A’s strong will and desire for peer attention, I plotted my strategy carefully. I acknowledged the bug, without praising the accomplishment excessively. Having survived my own strong-willed, non-insect-averse children, I considered the consequences of a loose bug and the damage control that would ensue. My strategy was to give her a choice.
“OK, since you can’t bring the bug on stage with you, you have two choices. You can either bring the bug outside, or you can put it in this envelope,” I challenged her, grabbing an offering envelope. (Use # 257 for an offering envelope.)

“I want to go outside,” she demanded.

“Well, I can’t take you outside now; we are all going on stage to sing the Cubbies’ song. You’ll have to sit here until I come back and can take you.”

After our leader’s cue, the Cubbies stood up in preparation to take the stage. Knowing that A would not want to miss out on a fun group activity, I offered her the open envelope. She hurriedly dumped the bug inside and ran to the aisle with her peers. The kids in our row eyed me carefully to monitor what happened with the bug. Bug firmly wrapped in the envelope and tucked under the row ahead of us (to prevent catastrophic smashing of A’s trophy), I herded my group of cherubs to the front.

After wild gestures, whispered guidance, and a few rescued potential runaways, the group of sixteen Cubbies was ready to perform. Facing their parents, families, and friends, the children sang the Cubbies’ song and recited their Bible verses.

Dear God, may these precious children always leave behind transitional objects, separation anxiety, bugs, and other distractions in order to focus on your word. Amen.

Disclaimer: No Cubbies were harmed in the pre-program drama annotated above. The program preparation strategies described do not necessarily represent AWANA guidelines.

(Originally posted April 2016.)

 

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: AWANA, preschoolers, separation anxiety, tantrums

September 28, 2015 by Kristina Lunde 1,476 Comments

Brynn’s Big Girl Moment

Dear Brynn’s Mom,

Thank you so much for taking the time and energy to bring your daughters to AWANAs, our Wednesday night church program. What a blessing that you share your precious girls with us!

Your three year old Brynn is making a big adjustment to let go of you for the evening, although she likes having her sister there for support. I volunteer with Cubbies, the program for three to five year olds that both of your daughters participate in. I have three year olds in my small group, so I spend most of the evening with Brynn.

Brynn gets my attention with a gentle tap on my arm that she repeats. Tap. Tap. Tap. She then announces, “I miss my Mommy.” Wisps of white blond hair surround her cherubic face as she puckers her lip, trying not to cry.

“Of course you do.” I always try to validate her feelings before I offer my hand and present the next activity. “Your mommy will be back later, but first, let’s go to our big group time and sing.” Brynn likes to hold my hand as we walk through the hallways. She quickly distracts from her sadness and readily engages in the next activity.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Brynn gets my attention after the activity to declare, “I miss my Mommy!” Again, the quivering lower lip accompanies attempts to swallow instead of cry.

“Yes, Brynn, your mommy will be here later.” I point out Brynn’s big sister, who is on her way to the classroom, and urge, “Let’s go hear our Bible story!”

Last month, Brynn was the first to raise her hand for a question, eagerly proclaiming, “Christmas is when Jesus was born!” Her smile was huge, her confidence unshakable, her assurance contagious. May God keep her faith deeply rooted and ever-developing.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Again Brynn’s rallying almost-cry, “I miss my Mommy!”

Again, Brynn reaches for my outstretched hand and melts my heart with her angelic hazel eyes. I try to encourage her. “Your mommy is coming back soon, but let’s go learn our Bible verse, hear our Apple Acres story, and color.”

Our group of three year olds learns a weekly Bible verse, usually four to ten words long, which we practice as a group. Brynn loves to learn the verse, and is usually one of the first girls to offer to recite the verse alone from memory with her bold, “I want to say it by myself!”

As we transition between activities, I often get the familiar tap, tap, tap followed by Brynn’s “I miss my Mommy!”

My responses are similar. “Yes , you will see her soon, but let’s go to the gym . . .watch the Cubbie Bear puppet show . . . have our music time . . . first.”

Before Christmas, I had the honor of holding Brynn’s purple butterfly headband for gym time. I soon put the headband down, along with my reading glasses, so that I could join in the fun. The group of three to five year olds (and a few of us older ones acting that age) laughed, walked hesitantly, and even ran as we balanced a jingle bell on our head across the gym. As always, when I looked over at Brynn in the middle of the group, she was smiling and having fun.

In our group time afterwards, when Miss Becky asked the name of the baby who was born at Christmas, Brynn was the first to enthusiastically call out “Jesus.” Oh Lord, may Brynn always be first to call on Jesus’ name and may that be her strength and hope in life. God, please build in her a great faith that touches others with Jesus’ love.

Toward the end of that night, I felt the usual tap, tap, tap. Before I said anything, Brynn looked up at me with her sweet face and triumphantly exclaimed “I don’t miss my Mommy!” Brynn’s big girl moment: she could relax and enjoy the evening, convinced that you would be there for her afterwards.

Reflecting on Brynn’s lesson later, I thought of my grief journey after my mother died two years ago. I would often say out loud, “I miss my Mom!” and then cry in mournful remembrance. Recently, my pain and sadness in remembering my mother have transitioned to nostalgia and love. Brynn’s big girl moment was a meaningful illustration for me. In Brynn’s adjustment to living life, having fun, and being reassured that her mother will be there at the end, I found an illuminating example of how to cope with my own sadness.

Using Brynn’s big girl words of confident hope, I prayed similar words to God: I don’t miss my Mom! I know that I will see her again later – in heaven.

Brynn’s Mom, thank you so much for the gift of letting your sweet daughter teach me a lesson about eternal life and God’s reassurance.

[Originally posted January 2015]

Filed Under: Grief Tagged With: AWANA, Christmas, grief, letter, mother, separation anxiety

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