Kristina Lunde, Author at Kristina Lunde

March 31, 2022 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Parenting Advice for the Helicopter Mama

Dear Modern Mama,
Just wanted to send you a warning from what I learned as a biblical-era helicopter parent. You thought that helicopter parenting only occurred in modern times?! Helicopters, yes, but that parenting style of hovering, controlling, and meddling in your child’s life remains timeless.

Mamas love their kids and I am no different. My two boys, Jamie and Johnny, were the most adorable kids ever! My husband Zebedee taught them the fisherman’s life from a young age, just as his father did for him. Zeb and the boys made me so proud, every time they set off: in the early dawn, at sunset, or even into the dark when they fished all night. They knew that lake and they knew those fish. (All that without your fancy technology of weather reports, plastic nets, and those self-propelled motor-things!) My guys used sheer muscle strength to get the boat across the lake or to rush home during those pop-up storms on our Sea of Galilee.

My little Jamie & Johnny had their careers all set—or so Zeb and I thought. Until one day a rabbi-guy came looking for people to take with him. Simon and Andrew, sons of Zeb’s business partner, left their boat and followed the rabbi. Zeb said our boys did the same, leaving Zeb holding the fishing nets.

A rabbi chose our precious boys to school and train. As parents, we felt proud, since our people aren’t the book-learning folk usually chosen for those roles. Despite that honor, Zeb and I felt disappointed that Jamie and Johnny left everything, giving up a successful fishing business with a promising future. Instead, our boys followed this rabbi-teacher on his speaking gigs, listening and learning, but not earning any money. I wanted so much more for my Jamie and Johnny.

Can you believe this Jesus gave my boys a nickname? He called them “sons of thunder,” a title that defined my boys. How did Jesus know them so well after such a short time?! Maybe He saw me as I raised those thunderous toddlers, chasing them down to the lake and grabbing them before they jumped in Papa’s boat. From early on, Jamie & Johnny were energetic and adventurous, true sons of thunder. And Jesus just seemed to understand them, in a deep way.

Every proud Mama wants the best for her children. I saw such promise and talent in my boys, so I talked to Jesus one day about my Jamie and Johnny. (Jesus probably recognized that—why else would He have chosen them?!) I wanted my boys to get some prestige and reward for following this Jesus guy. You might accuse me of interfering with my boys’ career, but why couldn’t I make sure that Jesus realized what treasured workers He had in my boys?!

I told Jamie and Johnny to ask for a title, or a special position, from this rabbi. They had no real job description or job security; this Jesus guy just called them disciples. I thought I would make a small request on their behalf. Obviously, this rabbi liked my guys, so why not ask for the move-up position my boys deserved? I treated Jesus like the king my boys said he was, kneeling and hesitantly asking him for a favor. I’m sure my boys were mortified that I would ask for them—two grown men—to receive honors. I just thought I would help out a little bit.

When Jesus looked right at me and asked what I wanted, I had a weird feeling in my gut. But this proud, tough Mama did the asking. Basically, I wanted Jesus to place one of my sons on His right side and the other on His left when He became king. (In our culture, those positions are the seats of honor and power. And just because Simon got asked to follow first, didn’t mean that he should have an important spot. My boys were always better than Simon anyway.)

But oh the way that Jesus guy looked at me! I started to feel all guilty and my words sounded shallow as I spoke. Me, the “sons of thunder” Mama who fought for her kids’ rights! But the look Jesus gave me forced me to think about my motivations. I realized that my heart might be too proud. Instead of justifying my wonderful kids and their roles, my request sounded like a big, wrong ask. Jesus turned to my boys and asked if they could drink some kind of cup, which I didn’t understand. Then He told them that He was not in charge of seating arrangements. None of that made sense to me until much later.

I wondered about all that I heard about this Jesus. Because my boys got involved, I had to check this Jesus guy out. That rabbi’s words changed lives! Many who listened to Jesus felt challenged, encouraged, and motivated to follow Him. I met the women who followed him, and then I started being a groupie also. My life changed, and so did my boys’ lives. I will never forget that moment when I, along with the other women, followed the crowd from Galilee and then watched the horror of Jesus’ crucifixion. We stood far away—they don’t let women or kids come close—but it hurt even from that distance. But that was not the end of the story.

You can read that good news yourself, but I am writing to you, Modern Mama, so that you can learn from my mistakes. I wanted the best for my kids, but I should not have tried to get them privileges they did not deserve or ask for positions I knew nothing about. Now, I realize that I had no idea of God’s plans for my sons. My helicopter parenting plan for Jamie and Johnny involved fishing and money. Jesus taught them to be fishers of men, a deeper and more purposeful goal. That cup Jesus mentioned related to His suffering and death. I had no idea! I should have trusted God for my kids’ future, instead of trying to manipulate my own desires and plans for them. Now I see that my ideas were motivated by my pride and selfishness.

Please learn from me and realize that God’s plans for our kids will be different and better than we could ever dream of. Mamas, let go of your adult kids, and trust God to guide their “adulting.” Scares me to think of what would have happened if Zeb and I had convinced our boys to stay with the fishing business; many would not have heard about Jesus. Instead, Jamie and Johnny left all to follow and serve Jesus. And, Modern Mama, you are probably still—all these thousands of years later—reading the words that my Johnny heard from Jesus. The old me would be so proud, but the new me who learned to follow Jesus, says “Go God!”

God’s plans are always worth submitting to. Take that from this ancient Mama, who learned to follow Jesus and stop “helicoptering” her adult kids.

Love from Salome,
Follower of Jesus and Jamie & Johnny’s mother (in that order!)

(Designed to encourage tired mamas, this parenting advice is written using sarcastic humor to reflect on a biblical family’s narrative. Please read and study the Gospel accounts of James and John for yourself. In no way do I intend to misinterpret or misuse biblical passages.)
[Originally posted October 2021]

March 31, 2022 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Parenting Advice for the Mama of a Wild Child

Hey Modern Mama,
Greetings to you from this mama of a wild child, from long ago, back in Bible times. You won’t find my name in the Bible, not at all. I am only referred to as Manoah’s wife, but he loved and respected me. Even so, infertility made me feel insignificant and inferior, because I could not fulfill the role I dreamed of: to be a mother. Your situation likely varies, but back in my time, we had no idea why or how to deal with infertility.

One day as I worked, an angel of the Lord came to me and verified that I could not have a child. He called me “barren.” (Oh, how I hate that word!) Perhaps there are aspects of infertility that hurt you emotionally, physically, and even spiritually. Please know that God hears your pain and can comfort you through the challenges of infertility. Maybe an angel will not come to you—it only happened to a few infertile women in the Bible—but God does hear your heart’s cry.

This angel of the Lord prophesied that I would have a son. Unreal and hard to believe, but somehow I trusted his words as true. Then he gave me pregnancy care instructions—how strange for a man to know about that! You have medical experts, books, and even Google, but we only get advice from the women in our tribe. Those instructions about taking care of myself during pregnancy meant that from the beginning, our son would be dedicated to God. The angel said that our son would deliver us from the Philistines, our oppressive rulers. This son would not only deliver Manoah and me from infertility, but deliver our tribe and our people. What exciting news!

As often happens, what we expected as parents differed from God’s plan for our son. Our Samson, an unexpected gift from God, certainly surprised us in many ways. Calm, compliant, rule-following—none of those aspects described our Samson! He came out of the womb large and in charge. From day one, the strength on that kid amazed us. And what a challenge for Manoah and me to train, discipline, and correct our wild child! We wondered if Samson would ever learn to control his impulsive nature.

Maybe you have a wild child and wonder how and why God blessed you that way. I found myself saying the same things over and over—for decades:
“Can’t you be kind? Can’t you be patient?”
“Samson, stop swinging that rock/stick/table above your head!”
“You beat up the neighborhood kids—again?!”

Manoah and I reminded ourselves that Samson was God’s child, dedicated to God, and created with characteristics for God’s purposes. Please appreciate the child God gave you, instead of comparing him to your friends’ kids. I made that mistake a lot and finally realized my need to rely on God for parenting help and guidance. God knew best how to prepare Samson for the future, and He helped us train Samson. No matter how discouraged I became raising Samson, I knew that God would prepare Samson for his God-ordained job. God’s plan for Samson ultimately affected others—even our nation—in ways that extended far beyond just Manoah and me.

For you parents of wild children growing into wild adults, I could add stories of Samson’s gambling, womanizing, murder, etc. All those nice Israelite girls—but instead, Samson chose nagging, sleazy, heathen women. Let me just say that God may use your children in ways that do not make sense to you. God is not concerned about our desire to have compliant kids who reflect well on our family. Being stewards of our children means recognizing when to let them go and trusting God to work in their lives. For you helicopter parents, realize that we have to let go of what we think is best for our children. I had to learn and relearn how to entrust my child to God. Even after Samson grew up, I had to remind myself to let go of my dreams for my son.

Check out my story in Judges 13-16 to read how God used my wild child to accomplish His sovereign plan in our country. My Samson, despite his bad decisions, hot temper, impulsive acts, gambling habit, womanizing, and multiple murders, accomplished God’s purposes in surprising ways.

May God teach you how to love your wild child and to recognize that God loves your child even more than you do. May God encourage you in your parenting, today and always.

Love from Samson’s Mama

(Designed to encourage tired mamas, this parenting advice is written using sarcastic humor to reflect on a biblical family’s narrative. Please read Judges 13-16 and study the account of Samson for yourself. In no way do I intend to misinterpret or misuse biblical passages.)
[Originally posted September 2021]

March 31, 2022 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Obeying a God Nudge: From Selfish to Willing

An email request asked Lakes Area Writers Alliance members to volunteer for a shift in a non-profit booth at the county fair. My irritations added up. The group held meetings, inconveniently, on Saturday mornings, and this request also involved weekends. A four-hour shift seemed like a long, boring stretch of time. All of my reasons not to participate felt squelched by a “God-nudge,” to use my husband’s description of a gut feeling that God wants you to do something. I preferred to volunteer for a two-hour shift, but four hours in a row? Really?! How much could I say about group meetings that I rarely attended?

That “God-nudge” prompted me to sign up for the last Saturday morning of the fair. Yes, I volunteered for the day I didn’t want to go, for the job I didn’t want to do, and for a stretch of time I thought seemed too long. But I did it anyway, begrudgingly out of obedience God.

Our writer’s alliance event coordinator had thoroughly prepared the displays. Two rectangular tables included an obligatory candy bowl that attracted kids and other sweet-seekers. A raffle jar offered a prize basket of books written by members of our writers’ alliance—my memoir included. Some group members had self-published short stories in a collection entitled The Storyville Project. Copies were stacked and available for sale. Displayed in racks, stacks, and fanned arrangements, brochures and bookmarks spread across the table tops.

Volunteers had permission to sell their own books, so I spent the first minutes placing my books on easels. As I set up my sales display, I chatted with the woman in the neighboring booth. Her story tumbled out quickly: she was widowed three months prior, after taking care of her ill husband while he was on hospice. Confined to a hospital bed in the living room, her husband needed full-time care, so she had slept on the couch, ready to jump up and help him 24/7.

Her tears flowed as she spoke of her grief. I tried to reassure her about the grief processing she had already accomplished, even though nothing felt normal to her yet. Not surprisingly, the fatigue she accumulated as a caretaker now compounded her grief. We spoke of God’s healing and comfort. I gave her the GriefShare website, so that she could sign up for daily emails and check out this fall’s grief groups. Later, a woman walked by the booth dressed in a memorial t-shirt that displayed several family members’ names and dates of death. We also discussed death and grief, and I gave her the same resources and information.

My entire booth shift turned out to be a pleasant surprise, and the four hours passed quickly. Several teenagers approached the booth, some reluctantly as their supportive parents asked questions on their child’s behalf. Identifying these shy teenagers, I started conversations about their favorite genres and encouraged them to continue writing. Hoping that the teens would be challenged and validated by submitting a story, I asked each one to contribute to the next edition of The Storyville Project. One teenager described working on projects with her sister who created anime drawings for her stories. As I marveled at their talents, I encouraged them to keep collaborating.

I enjoyed giving booth visitors information about our Lakes Area Writers Alliance. Not all conversations related to writing as I talked with kids, parents, and families. The Gideons International hosted a nearby booth where they gave out New Testament Bibles. Unlike the plain covers I remember from decades ago, the new Bible came in colorful covers: designs, graphics, and even camouflage. I engaged a few kids in conversation as they walked by with their pocket-sized gifts.

Afterward, I thought about my much-needed attitude rearrangement. I had signed up for my shift out of reluctant obedience to the “God-nudge,” or God’s prompting. That reluctance started to change when I recognized God’s divine appointments. Within minutes of my arrival, God arranged one-on-one time to speak with a grieving widow in the neighboring booth. God blessed my volunteer shift with meaningful conversations with kids, families, grieving people, writers, and friends. Once my selfishness got out of the way, God changed my attitude to willing—even joyful—obedience.

Lord God, Forgive my reluctant and frustrated attitude toward obeying your prompting, or those “God-nudges.” Change my heart, dear God, and teach me to be joyful and willing as I obey. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
[Originally posted August 2021]

March 30, 2022 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

My River of Sorrow as an Audiobook

Now available as an audiobook:

Kristina Lunde’s memoir,

entitled My River of Sorrow: A Widow’s Journey with God.

This all-American story of true love, sudden death, and authentic faith involves Lee, a golden California boy who becomes an Air Force fighter pilot, and Tina, a Midwestern girl turned Air Force nurse. Their lives are tragically interrupted when husband and father of two, Lee, dies suddenly. By the grace of God, and with church and community support, Lee’s family continues on without him. Previously believing that the biggest challenge in her life was her own father’s sudden death when she was a child, Tina realizes that God miraculously prepared her for this worst-case scenario of widowhood. With friends, family, and church support, as well as much-needed antidepressants and therapy, this widow faces grief and battles hopelessness. The narrative chronicles how Tina takes her pain straight to the throne of God and how the Lord of heaven answers prayers, needs, and sorrow with His grace, provision, and humor. This account reads like a novel, but only God can orchestrate a life story like this one.
[Originally posted July 2021]

March 30, 2022 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

God be the Center

“Be thou the center of our least endeavor.” These words from the hymn “A Christian Home,” written by Barbara B. Hart in 1965, echoed in my ears after last Sunday’s church service. That phrase, for God to be the center, formed a punch line before the final line of the last verse:

O Lord, our God, our homes are Thine forever! 
We trust to Thee their problems, toil, and care; 
Their bonds of love no enemy can sever 
If Thou art always Lord and Master there: 
Be Thou the center of our least endeavor: 
Be Thou our Guest, our hearts and homes to share.

What it does not mean

That second-to-last line surprised me with what it did not pray for:

God, center my self-focus as I reflect on past pain and suffering.
Yes, in retrospect, I recognize God’s comfort and help through past troubled times. But I need to make Him the center of my life from this moment forward.

God be the center of my upcoming project.
Yes, I want God to be my foundation as I pursue the projects that He guides me to accomplish. But I need His guidance on more than just the big tasks.

God, be the center of my future.
Yes, I entrust what lies ahead to my Creator and Savior. But I need Him in the present moment.

God, be the center of my success.
Yes, I pray for God to be with me in my proud moments of achievement. But that is not the only time I need to be centered on God.

What it does mean

Of course, I desire God to be the central aspect of my past, present, future, projects, successes, goals, achievements, and choices. But what about inviting God to be the center of my everyday tasks, chores, and responsibilities? Even more humbling, what about establishing God as the center of my least-favorite, most-disgusting, often-dreaded activities? What if I pray God into the center of my everyday life, the here and now, even when I find it boring and undesirable?

Brother Lawrence’s writings, published in The Practice of the Presence of God, focus on his insights and time with God during the everyday tasks of life. Born Nicholas Herman in the early 1600s, Brother Lawrence spent years working in a monastery. His writings describe how he disciplined himself to focus on God as he worked, most frequently peeling potatoes in the kitchen. Five hundred years later, Brother Lawrence’s words still stand as a testament of how to involve God as the center of our least endeavor.

How

In Matthew 6:11, the Lord’s Prayer gives me an example of inviting God into my everyday life: “give us today our daily bread.” Not provision for the future, not pantries and freezers full of food for an entire month, but just enough for today’s nourishment. This verse helps me pray for God’s provision, for Him to supply me in the amount and timing that fills my needs, not what I think I deserve. In this way, I learn to trust God for His help in essentials of daily life.

Stormie O’Martian explores that same theme in her book, appropriately entitled Just Enough Light For The Step I’m On (1986, Harvest House Publishers). The image that comes to my mind is Psalm 119:105: “your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” God guides me with His word, giving me what I need on my everyday walk with Him.

My Prayer

Lord God, let my least endeavor be filled with your presence at the center. No matter how insignificant or irritating I find my everyday task, help me to rely on you as my foundation and guide. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
[Originally posted June 2021]

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