grief Archives - Kristina Lunde

November 7, 2025 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Five Year Sadiversary: A Letter to Encourage You

Dear E,
This year I didn’t send you a sympathy card for the five year sadiversary of your husband’s death. I know you are all too aware of this date and your searing loss, but this is what I pray for you today.

I. Remember

Remember where you started five years ago today and what God did for you at that moment. Think back to that horrific day, when you saw T’s lifeless body and had to say goodbye. Ask yourself, where was God in the middle of that trauma? May God remind you of how He held you up. And that He gave you strength to absorb the truth and tell your four precious children. As you have learned, the mental journey backward is painful, but a necessary part of grief processing.

I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the LORD: “LORD, save me!” Psalm 116:1-4

II. Recognize

Recognize God’s comfort in your life, from that first shocking moment until today. Time and time again, God has met your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. May you see His hand on your life, as well as on your children’s lives. In the Old Testament, God repeatedly reminded the Israelites of how He had helped them. Similarly, may He help you recognize His interventions, comfort, and provision for you and your children these past five years.

The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The LORD protects the unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me. Return to your rest, my soul, for the LORD has been good to you. For you, LORD, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living. Psalm 116:5-9

III. Refresh

I am asking God to refresh you. Only He can comfort, heal, and refresh you in the way that you need. He created you and knows exactly how to encourage and guide you into your future. May the love of Jesus wrap you in His comfort and protection as you keep on living.

What shall I return to the LORD for all his goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD. I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people. Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his faithful servants. Truly I am your servant, LORD; I serve you just as my mother did; you have freed me from my chains. I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the LORD. Psalm 116:12-17

Hugs to you, dear E. We are friends who never would have met, if not for our experiences of grief and widowhood. I will never tell you to get over it or move on. Instead, I will keep praying and pointing you to Jesus, who loves you even more than T did. And that is a lot.

June 27, 2025 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Father’s Day: From Grief to Thanks

During our Father’s Day sermon, Pastor A challenged us to bless our Heavenly Father as well as our earthly father. Pastor took us through the long list of God’s benefits, love, and blessings recorded in Psalm 103. In verses 2-4, the psalmist credits God with forgiveness, healing, redemption, love, and compassion. The verses that follow further describe what God does for us: renewal, righteousness, justice, and undeserved forgiveness (v. 5-12). One aspect of God’s character that resonated with me was His fatherly compassion and love, described in Psalm 103:13-18. I have often experienced that fatherly compassion as God helped me wade through grief in my life. And this Father’s Day, after reflecting on my grief, I changed my focus to thanking my Heavenly Father.

When I was eleven, my father died in a plane crash. Except for that Father’s Day days after his death, my mother never let us stay home from a church service. From then on, I disliked any sermons that talked about fathers. I hated any reminder that my Dad had died—my adventurous loving father who adored my siblings and me. In my teen years, when I heard things about fathers, I could not relate. My family included Mom and the three of us siblings; that was all. I avoided dredging up memories of my Dad, because remembering felt painful. Instead, I lived in the moment, and Jesus helped me move forward past grief.

Thirty-plus years later, I faced my biggest fear when tragedy happened again. Lee, the love of my life and husband of eighteen years, died suddenly of a heart attack. I became a widow and only parent to our children, who were six and eight years old at the time. For many years, I kept my kids home from Father’s Day services to avoid hearing about the importance of fathers. We grieved that reality daily as we missed and reminisced about their wonderful Daddy.

I haven’t boycotted services or had a Father’s Day pity party related to grief for over a decade. God helped me process my grief and gave me opportunities to share His comfort in my writing and speaking. My life is very different now. But when Pastor A presented God’s actions and character in Psalm 103 as reasons to bless God, I felt convicted. I remembered past pity parties on Father’s Day. The Holy Spirit convicted me of those times I had focused on my loss and not on my Savior.

As Pastor A spoke, I realized that God deserves ongoing praise for how He forgave, redeemed, and restored me. How could I spend Father’s Day ignoring what my Heavenly Father had done for me? God’s comfort and provision had carried me through the challenges of widowhood and only-parenting. Jesus had walked me through the valley of the shadow of death, when I didn’t think I would survive grief. I had often spent Father’s Day ruminating on what I had lost instead of being thankful for my Heavenly Father.

Lord God, forgive me for those Father’s Days when I wallowed in my sorrow. Please forgive my selfish perspective and the times I didn’t honor you. Thank you for lifting my head above the grief and showing me how to rely on you. Lord God, you are my one and only Heavenly Father. If you had not sacrificed your only son Jesus, I would not be your child. Thank you that you love and forgive me when I don’t deserve it. Heavenly Father, make my future Father’s Days times of giving thanks for your help, healing, and forgiveness. Help me to praise and honor you—on Father’s Day and always. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

May 22, 2025 by Kristina Lunde 1 Comment

Book Launch: Henry the Heron Teaches Me About Grief

In Henry the Heron Teaches Me About Grief, a heron’s migration provides an engaging metaphor for grieving children. Geared to four through eight year-olds, this book centers on a biblical perspective of eternal life with Jesus (John 3:16). Lively watercolors depict sweeping landscapes and flying herons as a boy processes his grief.

Storyline

Expressed in rhyming verse, this first-person narrative follows a young boy as he befriends a heron in his new neighborhood. The boy creates an imaginary friendship with the heron and learns about migration. After the death of his grandmother, the boy experiences grief and discovers a comforting metaphor in Henry the heron’s migration.

Abigail Porter’s illustrations of a child’s grief experience echo the poignant emotions expressed in Kristina Lunde’s rhymes. Written for children, and the adults who help them process grief, this picture book presents concepts of death and heaven from a Bible-based perspective. As the boy begins to understand his grief, he compares and contrasts death with the migration of a heron.

Grief Support

The pacing of the book’s content offers discussion opportunities geared to the child’s level of understanding and interest. Beyond serious depictions of grief, whimsical illustrations and the boy’s imagination offer many ideas for lighthearted conversations. For example, a child not yet ready to discuss grief might focus on the humorous heron illustrations.

When working with grieving children, experts suggest being open to discuss grief concepts whenever children are ready. In this book, the story line and varied illustrations present many topics, ranging from silly to serious. Children may want to discuss grief or a cheerful topic like the boy’s imagination—or both. Henry the Heron Teaches Me About Grief is a picture book designed to introduce grieving children to God’s comfort.

March 30, 2025 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Writing a Children’s Book on Death and Grief

A children’s book about grief. That’s what I wanted for my six and eight year-old children when their father—my husband—died twenty years ago. How could I explain the absence of their father and the permanence of his death? Living that grievous reality, how could I emphasize the truth of Jesus Christ and our hope of heaven? I talked about these concepts with my children and we read different books, especially the Bible. But heaven seemed a long way off after our beloved Daddy suddenly disappeared from everyday life.

My soon-to-be-released book, Henry the Heron Teaches me About Grief, presents truths about death, grief, and faith in Jesus. I wrote this picture book for grieving children—and for the adults who love them. The book relays the story through Abigail Porter’s heartwarming illustrations. Whimsical visual details provide ideas for conversation starters. The illustrations offer opportunities to either lighten the topic or discuss it further, when the child is ready.

Dying is not a fun or easy topic for a children’s book. Even with playful illustrations, a book on death can be challenging to present at a child’s level. The facts about death need to be presented in straightforward language appropriate for the child’s level of development. The finality of death is difficult for children to understand. Children, and likewise adults, need time to recognize and mourn the absence of their deceased loved one.

Biblical truths can help children better understand life and death. God’s Word presents the most important truth about life: salvation is found in Jesus alone (Romans 10:9). With that foundation, children can accept God’s promise of eternal life for those who believe in Jesus (John 3:16). Eternal life is the outcome of knowing the one true God and believing in His son Jesus Christ (John 17:3). The earthly physical death we all face as humans is a tough reality check, even for adults. As believers in Christ, we hold onto the certainty of eternal life after our earthly death (1 John 5:11-12).

A children’s book that addresses death needs to address grief, the feelings that come after a loved one dies. In processing grief, both children and adults may experience a variety of emotions. Children may describe it as actual pain. Crying, feeling bad, and wondering how long grief lasts are common aspects of grief. Funerals, mourning rituals, and conversations provide opportunities to honor and remember the deceased loved one. When and if children are ready, involve them in these activities to help them process their grief. Adults can role-model how reminiscing about a loved one can be both sad and comforting.

Although I did find some good children’s grief books, I finally wrote the book that I would have wanted. My idea started when I saw a great blue heron along the upper headwaters of the Mississippi River. I enjoyed seeing him in our area all summer long. In fall, I realized that the heron had migrated.

After much thought, I wrote a story that centers on this metaphor from God’s creation. Together, the heron’s migration and his inevitable return parallel how believers in Christ will see each other in heaven. The certainty of God’s created order demonstrates this concept of reunion. My story shows a boy’s progress through grief as he recognizes truths about death in God’s creation. I pray that God uses this book to comfort grieving children—and the adults who love them.

January 7, 2025 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Sadiversary Book Launch: God’s Comfort in Grief

God’s Comfort in Grief by Kristina Lunde

Announcing my new book entitled God’s Comfort in Grief: Meditations for the Newly Widowed. I celebrate the launch of my book even as I commemorate the twenty-year sadiversary of my husband Lee’s death. My grief relief came from the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3). For that, I am so thankful—and motivated to share God’s grief relief in my speaking and writing.

This is the book I needed after Lee died. Early on, I cried through my days and didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with life. The trauma of performing CPR on my husband and seeing him die before my eyes impacted everything. My basic life skills, and of course my executive functioning skills, disappeared. Simple tasks, like combing my hair and feeding my children, overwhelmed my incapacitated brain. In those first weeks and months after Lee died, my mind could not focus. I wanted a short easy-to-read book that prioritized God’s comfort while giving me grieving help and practical advice.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV

So I have finally published the book that I needed back in that newly widowed phase of my life. My memoirs tell the story (My River of Sorrow: A Widow’s Journey with God and Memorial Stones: Reflections from My River of Sorrow), but this new book describes early widowed grief and focuses on God’s promises. Each short chapter includes a Bible verse for comfort, an anecdote for connection, and grief-processing ideas for consideration.

When I write sympathy cards, I include encouraging Bible verses and grief processing concepts. For widows or widowers, I include a letter from my blogpost (Note: the blogpost content is relevant for any widowed person, although I use the term widow instead of widow/widower). Now, I can communicate that content—and much more—by gifting this small book. My hope is for grieving people to draw closer to the God of all comfort as they adjust to widowhood.

My Prayer

Lord God, you know exactly how to comfort widows and widowers, just like you uniquely comforted me. Oh Jesus, speak your truth and redemption into the lives of all who seek you in their grief. Help them process their sorrow and individual challenges as they grieve. Father God, pour your compassion and comfort into grieving hearts in miraculous ways, as only you can.

Dear Lord, twenty years ago, you picked up this distraught widow from her puddle of tears. Your love and comfort changed me into a functioning single parent. Through the years, you have rebuilt my life and given me a future I never imagined. Thank you, Lord, that I feel more nostalgia about Lee and gratitude to you rather than pain at this sadiversary. Only a mighty healing God like you can accomplish that miracle, and I am grateful. Please keep working miraculous grief relief in people’s lives, just like you have done for me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.