A children’s book about grief. That’s what I wanted for my six and eight year-old children when their father—my husband—died twenty years ago. How could I explain the absence of their father and the permanence of his death? Living that grievous reality, how could I emphasize the truth of Jesus Christ and our hope of heaven? I talked about these concepts with my children and we read different books, especially the Bible. But heaven seemed a long way off after our beloved Daddy suddenly disappeared from everyday life.
My soon-to-be-released book, Henry the Heron Teaches me About Grief, presents truths about death, grief, and faith in Jesus. I wrote this picture book for grieving children—and for the adults who love them. The book relays the story through Abigail Porter’s heartwarming illustrations. Whimsical visual details provide ideas for conversation starters. The illustrations offer opportunities to either lighten the topic or discuss it further, when the child is ready.
Dying is not a fun or easy topic for a children’s book. Even with playful illustrations, a book on death can be challenging to present at a child’s level. The facts about death need to be presented in straightforward language appropriate for the child’s level of development. The finality of death is difficult for children to understand. Children, and likewise adults, need time to recognize and mourn the absence of their deceased loved one.
Biblical truths can help children better understand life and death. God’s Word presents the most important truth about life: salvation is found in Jesus alone (Romans 10:9). With that foundation, children can accept God’s promise of eternal life for those who believe in Jesus (John 3:16). Eternal life is the outcome of knowing the one true God and believing in His son Jesus Christ (John 17:3). The earthly physical death we all face as humans is a tough reality check, even for adults. As believers in Christ, we hold onto the certainty of eternal life after our earthly death (1 John 5:11-12).
A children’s book that addresses death needs to address grief, the feelings that come after a loved one dies. In processing grief, both children and adults may experience a variety of emotions. Children may describe it as actual pain. Crying, feeling bad, and wondering how long grief lasts are common aspects of grief. Funerals, mourning rituals, and conversations provide opportunities to honor and remember the deceased loved one. When and if children are ready, involve them in these activities to help them process their grief. Adults can role-model how reminiscing about a loved one can be both sad and comforting.
Although I did find some good children’s grief books, I finally wrote the book that I would have wanted. My idea started when I saw a great blue heron along the upper headwaters of the Mississippi River. I enjoyed seeing him in our area all summer long. In fall, I realized that the heron had migrated.
After much thought, I wrote a story that centers on this metaphor from God’s creation. Together, the heron’s migration and his inevitable return parallel how believers in Christ will see each other in heaven. The certainty of God’s created order demonstrates this concept of reunion. My story shows a boy’s progress through grief as he recognizes truths about death in God’s creation. I pray that God uses this book to comfort grieving children—and the adults who love them.
