Blog - Kristina Lunde

April 17, 2017 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Grief Support: A Letter to Grieving Children

[Note: this grief letter was sent to the siblings of a child who died suddenly.]

You do not know me, but I am praying that God will be with you when you get sad and miss your brother. (Those feelings of sadness and loss are called grief.) I wanted to send you some things so that you and your family could write, draw, and remember your brother by making a memory book.

When someone you love dies, you often think of them. I am sure you miss playing with your brother and hearing his voice. My two children were 6 and 8 years old when their daddy, who was my husband, died. One of their favorite parts of the Bible, that helped them feel better, was John 14:1-4:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”

Those were Jesus’ words to His disciples, or helpers, before He died. Jesus died, but He did not stay dead. He rose, or came alive again, and went to heaven to be with God, His Father. That is the same place—heaven or eternal life—that we will go to if we believe in Jesus, like the Bible tells us in John 3:16:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

When someone dies, we do not see them anymore. But if they know Jesus, we can be sure that they are in heaven. My kids liked to think that their daddy was working with Jesus, building the house in heaven, and getting it ready for when we go to heaven later. Maybe that is a picture you can have in your mind to help you. What would your brother like to do in a big house with Jesus?

Another way to think of heaven is when birds fly south for the winter. We stay here and freeze in the winter, but the birds are alive and enjoying the warm weather somewhere where we cannot see them. That might be another idea of how you can think of your brother: alive with Jesus and having fun, even though you cannot see him.

May God comfort you and help you to understand more about Jesus, even though your family misses your brother so much.

[Note: If you have experienced the death of a loved one, check out GriefShare to sign up for daily emails of comfort and encouragement or to find a local GriefShare group.]

March 31, 2017 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Toddler Tantrums: A Patient Father and a Heavenly Parallel

The weary-eyed parents scanned the checkout area at Walmart, searching for a short cashier line to duck into. Mom led the procession, with a grade-school-aged daughter and a shopping cart. Behind her, the mother pulled a sparkly, powder-blue girl’s bicycle, trimmed with shiny streamers from both handlebar ends. Patient Dad followed behind the girl’s bike with a screaming toddler in the cart. The two-year-old sat slumped in a tantrum with head down, tears flowing, and arms flailing.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Yamaha-Moto-12-Child-s-BMX-Bike/17242520

Next to the boy, and unnoticed by him, sat a toddler-size ride-on toy. It was a tiny BMX bike—an amazing mini-vehicle! Royal blue and white aerodynamic fenders swooped along the bike, accented by fun chrome details. Every toddler’s dream gift, but even that could not distract the boy. Instead, his energy was focused solely on the expression of his fatigue and frustration.

A few minutes later, settled into a cashier line myself, I looked to see the source of new shrieking. Same toddler, but by this time, the family had found a cashier line. Only the father and son were visible beyond the shelves. The boy was on the floor tantruming as he screeched. Obviously the father had removed his son from the cart to allow the boy to flail unobstructed on the open floor. The father’s patient, watchful gaze never left the boy, ensuring his safety without accelerating the tantrum.

I had stopped by Walmart for a few groceries after Awana night at church. As a teacher of 3-5 year old Cubbies, I had dealt with my share of runny noses and tantrums that night. A few preschoolers in our group had those tired-and-crabby, scream-and-throw-yourself-down-on-the-floor type of tantrums. Although my own children had taught me well how to deal with such episodes of acting out (ignore, distract, don’t reinforce), I was still tired after that evening. (And yes, it had been a night of laughter, singing, telling about Jesus, and running around the gym as well, but it was dealing with the tantrums that wore me out.) And so I noticed and admired that patient and tired-looking father.

And then I recognized the parallel: isn’t that just how I act towards my heavenly Father?! Like that father with the beautiful gift in the cart, God has gifts planned for me, gifts that are perhaps even within arm’s reach, but often I tantrum in fatigue and frustration, not trusting my heavenly Father.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Just like that earthly father loved his son through the tantrum, God is the one who knows me, knows what I need, has a plan for me, and knows how to keep me safe from my own selfish episodes of acting out. God patiently waits through my mess and my undeserving actions, ready to love and forgive me.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

Lord, help me to realize that you are my loving heavenly Father, the source of all good gifts, and the one who patiently waits for me to come to you in repentance. Please teach me that you are worth giving up my tantrums for, so that I can trust and obey you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

February 14, 2017 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Valentine’s Day Care Packages: Shoes and More

Two different kids, at two very different colleges, requested that mom send them the shoes they forgot at home. A shoe box is a shoe box, but it becomes so much more when filled with love and support for a Valentine’s Day care package.

Dear Ones,

To you it is only old shoes you ask for,
But I plan to send them along with much more.

You requested the shoes that you forgot,
But I hope to show you that I love you a lot.

You need the shoes for a practical reason,
But I will relate my package to the season.

Why can’t you throw them in the mail, you wonder.
But how can I transmit my love, I ponder.

Hurry up, I need my shoes, is your quick demand.
Instead, I take time to buy, bake, write, and plan.

What’s the big deal, to yourself you muse.
As I shoehorn my support into boxes of shoes.

“Anything fragile, liquid, perishable, or hazardous?”
“No,” I respond as I pay at the post office.

My love will not perish, no matter what I send in each one:
The shoes plus a note, cookies, chocolate, and gum.

Boxes of love and shoes are now on their way
To my dear children, Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love,
Mom

January 21, 2017 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

A Quick Morning Prayer

However chaotic my children’s morning—grabbing lunches and backpacks, riding in the car, walking along a sidewalk, or scrambling to catch the bus—I prayed this prayer with them before they went to school:

Dear Lord,

We pray for eyes to see as Jesus does,

Ears to hear as Jesus does,

And lips to speak the kind, loving words of Jesus.

In His name we pray. Amen.

What a privilege it is to pray with our children. In the craziness of our busy mornings, may God help us lift up our hearts and attitudes in prayer. As role models for our children, we join with them to pray for God’s help to be more like Jesus.

Tim S. (former associate youth pastor at North Valley Christian Fellowship in San Jose, CA) shared this prayer with me, explaining how his mother prayed for her children everyday before school. May this prayer bless your family as it has ours for 15+ years. Thanks Tim and Tim’s mom!

December 30, 2016 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Christmas Traditions: Create, Continue, Treasure

Family Christmas traditions are to be created, continued, and treasured. Here are some ideas of what works and what doesn’t in our family:

Stay up

After the last day of school before Christmas vacation, let the kids stay up as long as they want. (Very exciting for grade school kids, but high schoolers will likely do this anyway.)

Camp out

As a family, spend the night camped out in sleeping bags in front of the lighted Christmas tree. Once the little ones fall asleep, parents can sneak off to a real bed.

Take candid photos

“Kodak moments,” a phrase named after the camera company, refers to ideal moments captured in a photo. You anticipate, strategize, raise your expectations, and spend far too much time maneuvering and attempting to get that perfect picture. In our family, that rarely works. Instead, take lots of candid photos and you may be surprised with the precious moments you capture.

Start a new tradition

Make a tradition out of something your family does, no matter how seemingly insignificant. When our kids were little, we took pictures as they sat on the couch and opened their stockings on Christmas morning. Our stockings have silly little practical gifts and chocolate, but the photo became a cherished tradition. If I ever get organized, I would make a time lapse of all those photos—growing kids and the same couch over two decades.

Pray for others

Pray through the Christmas cards you receive. After we eat dinner, we each take several cards and pray for those families. This is a great way to ask God’s blessing on our friends and family, especially those who live far away. I enjoy introducing my kids to people they do not remember or have never met. Every year, I try to do this and am always met by resistance—from everyone in my family. Sometimes this takes me until February and I end up praying alone, but I think this is an important tradition.

May God bless you as you create, keep, and treasure your Christmas traditions!