Kristina Lunde

The Lord is my strength and my song.
Psalm 118:14a

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September 26, 2016 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Empty Nest: Ode to the Shoe Pile

shoe-pile-not
No shoe pile!

Shoe pile, shoe pile, empty nest at the door

Where have you gone, shoe pile?

I can actually see the floor!

 

Shoe pile, shoe pile, gone from the hall

No more tripping hazards

Threatening to cause a fall.

 

Shoe pile, shoe pile, that huge display

Seemed like every pair they owned

Was always in the way.

 

Shoe pile, shoe pile, overflowed into the room,

When the kids’ friends came over,

Showed who was visiting whom.

 

Shoe pile, shoe pile, always in disarray

No more dirt and melted snow

From an overfull boot tray.

 

Shoe pile, shoe pile, missing from the entry

Look, there’s tile and a throw rug

So much else to see.

 

Shoe pile, shoe pile, removed from the scene

Now I can thoroughly sweep and mop

And the floor might stay clean.

 

Shoe pile, shoe pile carried off to the U

The kids can deal with their own shoe pile

I’ve got better things to do!

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: empty nest, parenting, shoe pile

August 20, 2016 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Frozen in Time: A Widow’s Final Goodbye

1999 Avalanche Disaster

In October of 1999, forty year old mountain climber Alex Lowe and twenty-nine year old expedition cameraman David Bridges died in a Himalayan avalanche. Along with fellow alpinist Conrad Anker, they set out that morning to analyze the south face of Shishapangma, a Tibetan peak. Six other expedition members, farther back from the three scouts in the lead, were spared the sudden, crashing torrent of ice and snow. Seriously wounded and partially buried, Conrad pulled himself out of the avalanche’s aftermath and participated in the desperate, but ultimately futile, two day search for Alex and David.

Back in Montana, Alex’s widow Jenni had only verbal reports, along with her own climber’s instinct and intuition, to confirm her husband’s mortality. No physical proof of a life ended. No lifeless body to authenticate the finality of death. No tangible validation of a life ended and grief begun.

Shock. Explaining to three young children, family, loved ones. Grief. Mourning. All without a body to say goodbye to. Etching, scraping, and climbing through grief and loss to survive. Adjusting to a family that was tragically minus one. Preserving a father’s love and legacy.

Jenni and her boys were later joined by new husband and stepfather Conrad Anker. Bound by the pain of Alex’s loss, they built a new family together over the months, years, and decade-plus that passed.

2016 Mournful Recovery

Sixteen years later, in April of 2016, came the chance for a final goodbye in the flesh, after Alex’s and David’s bodies were found on the mountain.

Bodies preserved, long after lives were lost to a frigid end. Lives claimed by the mountain, now brought to the surface by glacial melt. A potential grief ambush of torrential proportions revealed by the sun’s light. The emotional trauma of facing the proof of a life vanished, the irrefutable evidence of widowhood, and the harsh reality of all that was lost.

Ice melted. Grief revisited. Goodbyes offered. Mourning renewed. Time to review, admire, and remember both Alex’s and David’s lives. An opportunity to mentally journey back and reflect honor on husband, father, friend, and climber.

Widow to Widow

Dear Jenni Lowe-Anker,
May God give you His strength and comfort as you face this mountain. May the melting ice give way to precious memories, love remembered, and a husband honored. May your grief be less about ambush and more about resolution. I pray that this reviewal will refresh your family’s precious memories of Alex. May the light of God’s son bring peace and closure, rest and nostalgia, hope and renewal. I pray that your widow’s heart not be torn, but instead that your love for Alex will be celebrated and commemorated, even as you continue on with the love of the second half of your life.

Prayers for God’s blessings on you and your family.
Kristina Lunde, a fellow pilgrim on the journey through grief

Filed Under: Grief Tagged With: Alex Lowe, grief, Jenni Lowe-Anker, widow

August 19, 2016 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

AWANA Closing Program: Preschooler Distractions

The AWANA closing program was set to begin, and children, parents, and grandparents gathered inside the church for the celebration. I was on the lookout to welcome my section of Cubbies and help them cope with their preschooler distractions.

C’s mother, ready to confront her son’s weekly bout of separation anxiety, carried him over to me. Kicking and crying in his usual protest, C resisted when I peeled him out of his mother’s arms for our prearranged hand-off. I always waited for his mom’s timing and cue that she was ready for her son to separate; our weekly dance resulted in a calm C, usually within minutes. We had never handed off in front of an audience before, and I realized how cruel I must look, pulling a crying child out of mom’s loving arms. However, not long after C was in my arms and we sat down, he laughed as I distracted him with silly conversation.

K came in with her transition object, only this time it was a doll instead of her usual baby blanket. K’s mother, the exhaustion of strong-willed children evident on her face, was coping with simultaneous challenges from all three of her children. Oldest boy was testing limits and mom was implementing consequences presented even before the evening’s outing. Middle daughter was refusing to sit with her AWANA Sparks group. Not to be outdone, K, the youngest, began to tantrum when mom tried to sit elsewhere. Mom settled into place with our group of Cubbies, resigned to K’s refusal to separate and committed to ensure that her older children stayed with their groups.

As I calmed C on my lap, I looked over to see K present one of her rolling-on-the-floor tantrums. I usually dealt with that in the Cubbies classroom, where K’s occasional tantrums were short-lived and self-extinguished once her parents were out of sight and she received nothing but strange stares from her peers. Since mom was a captive audience, this particular session lasted longer and the doll became a drama prop.

“You are a good mom! Hang in there,” I encouraged K’s mother with a pat on her arm. It sounded so feeble and I wanted to encourage her further, but I had to tend to the rest of my preschooler group.

In bounded A, deliberately shaking her cupped hands together, a smug smirk of accomplishment spread across her sweet, three-year-old face. Sensing that this was likely a live one, snuck into the sanctuary for the big AWANA finale, I asked what was in her hands.

“A bug!” she proclaimed triumphantly, gracing me with a short peek as she cracked her otherwise clenched hands to reveal a black winged insect. Knowing A’s strong will and desire for peer attention, I plotted my strategy carefully. I acknowledged the bug, without praising the accomplishment excessively. Having survived my own strong-willed, non-insect-averse children, I considered the consequences of a loose bug and the damage control that would ensue. My strategy was to give her a choice.
“OK, since you can’t bring the bug on stage with you, you have two choices. You can either bring the bug outside, or you can put it in this envelope,” I challenged her, grabbing an offering envelope. (Use # 257 for an offering envelope.)

“I want to go outside,” she demanded.

“Well, I can’t take you outside now; we are all going on stage to sing the Cubbies’ song. You’ll have to sit here until I come back and can take you.”

After our leader’s cue, the Cubbies stood up in preparation to take the stage. Knowing that A would not want to miss out on a fun group activity, I offered her the open envelope. She hurriedly dumped the bug inside and ran to the aisle with her peers. The kids in our row eyed me carefully to monitor what happened with the bug. Bug firmly wrapped in the envelope and tucked under the row ahead of us (to prevent catastrophic smashing of A’s trophy), I herded my group of cherubs to the front.

After wild gestures, whispered guidance, and a few rescued potential runaways, the group of sixteen Cubbies was ready to perform. Facing their parents, families, and friends, the children sang the Cubbies’ song and recited their Bible verses.

Dear God, may these precious children always leave behind transitional objects, separation anxiety, bugs, and other distractions in order to focus on your word. Amen.

Disclaimer: No Cubbies were harmed in the pre-program drama annotated above. The program preparation strategies described do not necessarily represent AWANA guidelines.

(Originally posted April 2016.)

 

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: AWANA, preschoolers, separation anxiety, tantrums

August 19, 2016 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Twenty Years Ago: Bringing Our Firstborn Baby Home

Twenty years ago today was Easter Sunday: a beautiful celebration of the reason and purpose for our faith. Our family marked a secondary celebration of joy and new purpose that day: the transporting home of our precious firstborn baby girl, born two days earlier.

New Daddy completed his first baby-wrangling session to prepare the newborn. A hat and onesie ensemble, pre-planned months beforehand, outfitted the little one for the trip. Layers of blankets warded off the potential spring chill. Tiny Girl’s new infant seat, equipped with straps for every little limb, served its first mission.

A nursing assistant transported New Mommy by wheelchair to the hospital entrance. It seemed like weeks, not days, since she had been outside for fresh air. Her cautious counterpart, New Daddy, retrieved the car and parked in the front circle for delicate cargo pick up. Tiny Girl, ensconced in her safety seat, was gingerly placed, buckled in, and secured for transport.

Fluid overloaded, bandaged, tired New Mommy maneuvered into place and stretched exhausted limbs to fasten her seatbelt. The twenty minute ride home seemed forever. New Mommy cringed at the bumps that jarred her beaten, scarred body.

Both parents, so new to the worries and cares of family life, considered the what-ifs. What if we crash? What if we go off the road? What if backward-facing baby has an emergency in the car seat?

But Tiny Girl slept through the uneventful ride home. And so the new family began.

(Originally posted April 2016.)

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: bringing baby home, firstborn, parenting

August 19, 2016 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Vacation-busting Blizzard and Airport Games

Once upon a time, Mr. and Mrs. were on their way to a much-anticipated vacation in sunny Arizona. Below-zero, Minne-snow-ta winter temps and overcast skies would be left far behind as they flew to Las Vegas, where Mr. and Mrs. would rent a car and drive to Lake Havasu City. Or so the plan, incorporating dreams of Arizona golf and hiking with friends, was designed to work out. Firm in their resolve to be airborne before the worst of the big blizzard, due to make it’s biggest impact on their hometown, the vacationing couple smugly boarded the bus at the long-term parking lot, arriving five hours early for their flight.

The only other couple on the bus casually mentioned that their afternoon flight had been cancelled. As the conversation ensued and the other couple’s airline, flight time, and destination sounded more and more familiar, Mr. and Mrs. exchanged concerned glances. Mr. phoned the “Spunk Airlines” and was reassured that his flight was still on time. The other couple then offered their flight details, which revealed the same flight. Their travel agent had emailed them of the flight’s cancellation, but Spunk Airlines themselves had given erroneous information to the by-now-frustrated Mr.

Once at the airport, Mr. and Mrs. queried the ticket agent on delays, cancellations, and resulting options. The neighboring ticket agent was communicating patiently with a frustrated Las Vegas passenger, whose fake tan and Las Vegas-lettered, tie-dyed sweatshirt dramatized her escalating threats. A complaint to the airline, a demand for the manager, and a few expletives spewed from the irate passenger. As Mr. and Mrs.’s ticket agent re-booked them on the next flight to Vegas, the irritated passenger next to them was accomplishing the same change. Leaning over in a whisper, Mrs. gave a sideways nod and pleaded with the ticket agent, “I hope you didn’t seat us next to Ms. Crabby Pants over there.” Assured that they hadn’t been seated next to the venom-spewing gambler, Mr. and Mrs. set off to sit out the ten hour wait until the next flight.

Avoiding the departing terminal of frustrated passengers, Mr. and Mrs. took their luggage (no check-in until four hours before the flight) to the baggage claim. Mr.’s large golf club bag stood sentry over the seats they chose to camp out in. Trying to placate the oh-so-frustrated Mr., Mrs. came up with some games to play. In her perennial, parenting mode of “let’s make the best of the situation and be flexible”, she suggested two games.

The “It Could Be So Much Worse” Poker game involved taking turns identifying people at the airport whose situation was much tougher than theirs. Mrs. presented the opening bid: the mom who hurried by with four children. The mother’s purposeful but hurried affect was evident as she pushed the stroller. Inside were two little ones, the infant in a seat with a full-length, plaster leg cast. Striding close to the stroller, their colorful backpacks bobbing, were the two older children. Several feet behind was a tired daddy, pushing a baggage cart heaped high with luggage.

Then Mr. played his hand for the poker game with his idea of what was worse: he himself was so bad off because he didn’t have a cup holder on his chair. Mr.’s “poor me” bid was not even close to the missus’ bid of a harried family!

After her crushing win of the poker hand, Mrs. continued with the next game: “Blessings in the Blizzard.” Despite the obvious fact that the blizzard was causing more problems than anything good, Mrs. continued in her “mom mode,” looking for God’s blessings in the midst of the usual life frustrations, as she had for so many years tried to teach her children. She pulled out a Starbucks gift card and sent Mr. off to the Starbucks, a short walk down the hall.

Savoring her coffee treat with Mr., she identified “Blizzard blessings.” Here they were, sitting in the quiet baggage claim area drinking delicious coffee, as stressed-out passengers upstairs dealt with ticketing and delayed departures. Mr. was still grousing as he went to throw out the empty cups in the green bin. After calling out that the cup and lid were not recyclable, Mrs. saw a grouchy Mr. reach into the recycling bin to correct his ecological error. To his surprise, he pulled out a folded newspaper section with two untouched crossword puzzles – another blessing in the blizzard, as Mrs. pointed out.

Yes, there was pleasant togetherness in time expenditure as Mr. and Mrs. shared their different perspectives to complete the crossword puzzles. But no, this story does not have a very happy ending. The day went on with waiting, delayed flights, more waiting, cancelled flights, more waiting, overbooked flights, and ultimately, a cancelled vacation.

But “It Could Be So Much Worse” Poker and “Blessings in the Blizzard” are two games worth playing again.

(Originally posted February 2016.)

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: airport games, marriage, parenting, patience, waiting

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