Parenting Archives - Page 2 of 7

March 28, 2023 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Rebekah’s Advice: Avoid Favoritism

Dear Modern Mama,
Long ago, before any children or favoritism, I moved from far away to marry my husband Isaac. My father-in-law Abraham sent his servant back to their country of origin and that’s where he found me. All I did was offer a drink of water to a weary traveler and his camels, but that hospitality answered a specific prayer of Abraham’s servant. (Check out Genesis 24 for details of God’s miracle.)

Although Isaac and I loved each other, I did not get pregnant after almost twenty years of marriage. They called me barren, but Isaac prayed for me to conceive and God answered Isaac’s prayer. God answered with a two-for-one miracle, but the pregnancy felt awful. Like a war between twins in my belly! I wanted to die. Didn’t think I could take it much longer, so I asked the Lord about it.

When the Lord confirmed the conflict inside of me, He said it would extend throughout my twins’ lives. Two babies, two nations, two peoples. They would be divided, with one stronger than the other and the elder serving the younger. Isaac and I didn’t really understand the entire prophecy, but it made sense later as we raised our boys.

From birth on, the boys were opposites. Our oldest, Esau, had red hair on a hairy body. He loved the outdoors and developed good hunting skills. As a tough hunter, Esau became Isaac’s favorite. They loved to eat wild game and talk about hunting. My Jacob had a quieter nature and liked to stay home. I loved having him around the tent to keep me company; you could say I favored him.

Esau and Jacob fought a lot, mostly because they were so different. Once Esau came in hungry after a long day outside and demanded some of the stew Jacob had cooked over the fire. (Did I mention that my Jacob was a great cook?!) Jacob insisted that Esau sell his birthright in exchange for the stew. In desperation, Esau traded his privileges as the oldest son for Jacob’s bread and lentil stew. Not a fair trade, but no one could change the outcome of their decisions.

Other battles followed. My favoritism toward Jacob progressed to a desperate desire to get the birthright blessings for him. I sinned against God and my family as I lowered myself to lie, cheat, and even betray my husband. I am ashamed of the treachery that I encouraged in Jacob when my dear Isaac lay on his deathbed. (Genesis 27 tells the full story.) Our sins only worsened the family conflicts, sibling rivalry, and long-term consequences.

My advice to you, modern mama, is to avoid favoritism. Recognize your child’s unique nature as a gift from God. Our Creator God gives children different skills, character traits, and interests. Do not let that determine how much you love your child or what you will do for him. Take it from me, the consequences of favoritism and deceitful maneuvering to get advantages for your child will only cause heartache—for a long time! I learned that lesson the hard way.

Trust my advice: the best way to parent your children is to follow God’s way and love all of your children wholeheartedly.

Shalom, in your relationship with God and also in your parenting.
Rebekah

January 30, 2023 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Gomer’s Lessons: Love God and Love Your Husband

Dear Modern Mama,
Not sure why I got asked to give advice. My life lesson sounds simple: love God and love your husband. But I learned it in painful and difficult ways. Let me tell the story.

Elohim, the one and only God, asked Hosea to take a prostitute for a wife. Can you imagine? A prophet of God sent to pick a prostitute for a wife! Pick any woman. No divinely selected woman. No promised blessing on the woman or the marriage. The prophet Hosea faithfully followed God’s direction, purposefully choosing a wife with a bad reputation. Hosea’s difficult marriage became an object lesson, played out publicly to teach all of Israel.

I know, because I am that whore, chosen out of my life of sin and debauchery. For Israelites, sexual sin outside of God’s design of marriage carried a penalty of death by stoning. But in the idol-worshipping society of my day, Israel tolerated all kinds of sexual sin: temple prostitutes, prostitute daughters, adulterous daughters-in-law, and men who indulged in all of that. As a wayward and rebellious woman, I indulged in that sinful culture, too. I earned a good living by selling myself. My male customers paid me generously in bread, water, wool, flax, oil, drink—even silver and gold.

I did not know God when I met my husband Hosea. Back then, I didn’t want to meet God or some strange guy who thought he should be my husband. In my depraved lifestyle, I enjoyed earning money by fulfilling men’s sin-addicted thoughts. You can imagine how uncomfortable Hosea felt coming to where I worked. He looked so out of place, until he saw me and chose me. The idea of marriage came from Hosea, not me. At the time, I didn’t want to get married or have children. Somehow, I agreed to Hosea’s plan.

We had kids right away. Hosea insisted on naming our kids, with names he said God gave him. Fine with me, I didn’t care about the kids at first. I didn’t know how to parent children. I didn’t want to be a mother; kids just interrupted my work. Hosea named our first boy Jezreel, same as the valley city where King Jehu massacred the house of Ahab. With our daughter, Hosea said God wanted her name to be Lo-ruhamah, or “not loved.” Hosea called our next son Lo-ammi, which means “not my people.” I figured Hosea and God tried to shame me with that one, because, with my extramarital activities, how could I ever know who was the father?!

Even stranger, Hosea later renamed our younger kids. He took the “Lo” part off, calling them Ruhamah, or “loved,” and Ammi, “my people.” Later, I ran out on Hosea, so I didn’t understand these things until I went back to my family.

According to Hosea, God came up with the plan, the one thing Hosea did that I most love him for. After all my sinful betrayals, would you believe Hosea came to the slave block to buy me back? Not that anyone else cared to bid. But it got a lot of attention—everyone in town knew about our sham marriage and how I lived. I deserved nothing, but my dear Hosea bought me back and took me home.

Hosea taught me about true love, and more importantly, about God’s love. Just like God does for us, Hosea demonstrated unconditional love for me, an unworthy sinner. Our story became an object lesson of God’s mercy and forgiveness for all Israel. Not just a lesson for that time, but an enduring human parallel of God’s love and redemption. (Read it for yourself in my husband’s book.)

My Hosea is my hero. So many times I betrayed Hosea’s love and brought him nothing but shame. Yet he never stopped loving me. He bought me back from slavery when no one else would look at me. I know now that God chose to redeem me through Hosea’s love. My dear Hosea taught me how to love and obey Elohim. I am so grateful for my Elohim who gave me a chance.

Elohim, my one and only God.
Me, the sinner and whore.
Hosea, my beloved husband and redeemer.
My advice to you: love God and love your husband.

Love to you,
Gomer, late to learn about love, but grateful to be redeemed and restored

August 22, 2022 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Hagar’s Assurance: God Sees and Hears You

Dear Modern Mama,

God sees and hears you in your parenting struggles. That assurance comes from this Bible mama, but I write to you from my painful experiences of abuse, betrayal, and single-parenting.

I worked as a servant girl for Abram and Sarai long before God changed their names. An old couple without children, they treated the members of their household work force as family. I loved working for them—until they abused me. I couldn’t believe that boss-lady Sarai sent me in to be raped by her husband. After all my loyalty and hard work, they betrayed and abused me. When they found out I was pregnant, Sarai blamed everything on her husband, but she was the one who started this mess!

Sarai treated me so cruelly that I ran away into the desert, where the angel of the Lord found me by a spring. When He spoke to me by name and mentioned my mistress Sarai, I admitted that I ran away from her. The angel of the Lord then told me to go back and submit to her. He prophesied that my future generations would be too many to count.

Then He told me that I would have a son and should name him Ishmael. After reassuring me that the Lord had heard of my misery, He added some scary details. My son would be a wild man, living in hostility against everyone and everyone would be against him. Those words described how I felt: hostile and that everyone had turned against me.

No human being would know all of that and speak personally to my concerns. In response, I blurted out my thoughts. “You are the God who sees me!” “I have now seen the One who sees me” (Genesis 16:13). So I named that well Beer Lahai Roi, which means well of the living One that sees me in Hebrew (Genesis 16:14).

Although I returned hopeful, jealousy filled the household fourteen years later when Abraham and Sarah had their son Isaac. When they banished Ishmael and me, we wandered into the desert together. Hungry, exhausted, and sure that we were going to die in that barren wasteland, we sat in separate places to cry.

Would you believe that God heard Ishmael crying?! This time, the voice came from heaven and instructed me to lift Ishmael off the ground and hold him by the hand. Then God promised to make Ishmael into a great nation. I did what God asked, and suddenly I saw a well. That proved to me that God not only saw us, but He heard us.

Do you know that mine is the first account of the angel of the Lord in the Bible?! A destitute rape victim banished to raise a wild child in the desert—but God never abandoned me. Instead, He blessed me with His appearance, prophecies, and provision. (Check out my story for yourself in chapters 16 and 21 of Genesis.)

From my personal experience with God, I learned this truth that I share with you: God sees you, hears you, and knows your situation. Although I struggled to raise Ishmael, I always knew that God saw, heard, and understood me. I knew that I could trust God no matter what happened. Please recognize that you, too, are seen, heard, and known by God. He might not appear to you in-person, but you have the truth of Jesus Christ in His Word. Trust Him even in the toughest parenting situations.

Love to you from Hagar
P.S. Did I tell you about my twelve grandsons?! (Genesis 25:12-18)

June 30, 2022 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Silly Lily and the Polka-Dot Lunch: A Children’s Picture Book

Are you looking for a whimsical picture book, a sweet story of challenge served with a bit of silly? Do you deal with a child’s food refusal? Do you know a picky eater? Whether your child is neurotypical or on the autism spectrum, my new picture book, entitled Silly Lily and the Polka-Dot Lunch, encourages children to try eating something new.

Sometimes Lily is silly, but she always knows what she wants. Instead of eating food, Lily tries to eat the polka dots on her pants. Will strong-willed Lily try real food for lunch? Kristina Lunde’s new story uses shapes, colors, repetition, encouragement, good manners, and a bit of silliness to encourage children to try new foods.

April 20, 2022 by Kristina Lunde Leave a Comment

Daniel’s Mother on Child Training

Dear Modern Mama, Please consider this Bible verse as a parenting goal. God never showed me the outcome of my child training here on earth, but this is what He taught me:

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.

The Ten Commandments

“The way he should go” sounds very broad, but go back to the ten commandments in Exodus 20 (repeated in Deuteronomy 5) to review God’s primary guidelines for life. The first three commandments focus on our relationship with God. If we set God first above all else in our lives, the rest will fall into place. That means nothing gets placed ahead of God, not even our children. (Don’t know about you, but that challenged this dedicated mama!)

God’s name deserves worship, not to be abused or taken in vain. Using God’s name as intended means that we respect Him, tell others about God, and speak His truth in love. If we focus on God and His teaching in our own lives, it will flow out from us into our children. The time, energy, and resources we spend training our children can be filtered through God’s priorities for our own lives.

With God as our number one priority, we can invest in other relationships. The fourth commandment tells us to honor our father and mother. Our children will watch how we respect our parents and elders. If kids learn to treat family members with appreciation and dignity, they will apply those concepts to other adults. The other commandments list acts of disobedience against God and other people: murder, adultery, stealing, lying, and jealousy. Child-training teaches what obedience looks like, both how to act and how not to act.

God’s Plan

My husband and I taught our eldest Daniel and his younger siblings the ten commandments as we prepared them for God’s plan. You will not find us mentioned in the Bible, but we raised our children with love and dedication, teaching them about the Lord our God, the Holy One of Israel. Our goals for our children included a disciplined lifestyle, regular prayer time, and loyalty to God—concepts based on the ten commandments. I admit being very strict about some things, especially prayer and nutrition. My Danny-boy always ate his vegetables—the other kids, not often. Daniel learned everything so quickly and he loved to pray. To this proud Mama, my Danny-boy seemed to be a born leader.

When the Babylonian invaders kidnapped my Danny-boy and took him captive to their pagan nation, I became distraught. I never got to say goodbye, nor did I ever see my son again. Little could I imagine that God had orchestrated this for His good and His glory. I often thought of my forefather Israel. He saw his son Joseph again in that strange land of Egypt, decades after Joseph was presumed dead. Losing a son like that breaks a mama’s heart, but I had to keep going, raising my other children and still trusting God.

Sometimes, dear Mama, we will not understand God’s plan until we get to heaven. God may launch our precious children from home long before we are ready to release them. Yes, I questioned God, His purpose and His ways, but ultimately I realized that the Lord my God is worth trusting even when I don’t understand.

God’s Parenting Lesson

Check out my son’s book, the biblical book of Daniel. You will learn that he continued to live out the priorities my husband and I taught him. My Danny-boy faced a lot of adversity as a captive in a far-away pagan land, but our Holy One of Israel blessed and protected the Israelites in exile. Despite much opposition, my Danny-boy and his friends shone like bright lights in the darkness, living out their love for the Lord our God. Looking back now, I understand Isaiah’s writing:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

And so, dear modern mama, I want to encourage you. Keep training your child in the way God directs, according to the ten commandments, because you may never know what God has planned for them.
Love to you from Daniel’s mother