Kristina Lunde, Author at Kristina Lunde

September 28, 2015 by Kristina Lunde 1,109 Comments

Teenager, screens, and self-soothing

“Where have you been?

I was worried!

I called… [list of 3 people]…for a ride home.

I almost started walking.

What happened?!”

And so my daughter assailed me when I was 13 minutes late to pick her up. I texted her twice and called by phone once during those 13 minutes to let her know when I was on my way.

Earlier that afternoon, I dropped my daughter off at the clinic for a physical. Calculating that her appointment would take about an hour, I told her that I would be driving to the bank to run an errand. When she finished ahead of schedule, she texted me. My muted cell phone stayed in my purse as I spoke with the bank representative. With the representative out of the room at the one hour mark, I pulled my phone out to check the time and to text my daughter that I would be five minutes late. After two more phone updates telling my daughter that I was on my way, I later picked her up at the clinic.

There was comfortable indoor seating, there was no threat of infectious disease, my daughter was not injured or in pain, the clinic was not under siege, and she had wireless access at the clinic. As a healthy teenager, she had already eaten two meals that day.

Yet she was ready to report me for parental neglect because I was delayed in picking her up.

This was a child who learned to self-soothe. As a baby, she easily soothed herself to sleep. I did not deprive her of the chance to learn how to fall asleep on her own, provided she was fed, dry, comfortable, and not anxious. She learned independence at every step, often before I was ready to let her go. As a teenager, she is a self-assured young lady who thrives on outdoor adventure challenges. As a young adult, my daughter has mastered many intellectual and logistical pursuits. I am proud and amazed at her incredible accomplishments. Yet waiting for me for 40 minutes overall, 13 of them beyond the one hour anticipated appointment time, was too much for her.

In my day, I waited up to an hour for my mother to pick me up. If she said she was picking me up after an event, I knew she was coming. I had no way to contact her, but I trusted that she would come as soon as she could. I knew that I was important to her, but I also realized that she had other obligations. In the cold Minnesota weather, I was lucky if I could wait inside for my ride. Never did I question my mother’s schedule, what she did before picking me up, or why she came when she did. I did not complain when she came; I was just glad for the ride.

As much as I adore and prioritize my kids on my list of responsibilities, I have a life and other obligations beyond parenting. I have the right to ignore my cell phone during a business appointment. (Sometimes I turn it off even when nothing else is going on!)

I hope to teach my children how to wait patiently and pass the time without immersing themselves in a screen, but I don’t know if that is possible for this generation.

[Originally posted June 2015]

September 28, 2015 by Kristina Lunde 1,243 Comments

Hannah: Ultimate regifting

Hey Hannah —

Please help me to understand this whole regifting thing.

You were mocked by the other Mrs., tormented and scorned, because she thought she was better than you. All your years of infertility, all those annual family trips to the temple, all the spousal rivalry. Your infertility was a disgrace in a culture that ranked you by number of offspring. More than sadness and loss of vision, childlessness demoted your worth and marked you for desolation in your society. My first world mind cannot imagine the suffering you endured. How could you stand that?!

So you asked and asked, begged actually, for God to give you the gift of a lifetime. What perseverance you showed, over and over again! To love your husband, when he loved and pitied you, but could not give you your heart’s desire. To endure the other Mrs. and her passel of kids. To stand up to Eli, who accused you of being drunk and making a scene. How dare he say that when you were desperately crying out to God for help?!

And then, our incredible God blessed you with an extraordinary answer to your prayers, the gift of a precious new life. God really did hear you! He intervened with a miracle baby: your boy Samuel, whose name means “heard of God.” The excitement, the wonder, the promised future of parenting — your life would never be the same. That joy makes sense to me.

But from there I have a hard time following you. You took this gift — your one and only, your chance of a lifetime — back to the temple with hubby Elk. This time – with Elk’s approval, no less – you gave the baby back to God?!

First rule of regifting: take a gift that you do not like and give it to someone else. The gift is something you do not want, not the best gift you have ever been given! Second rule of regifting: NEVER give the gift back to the original giver. You so messed up the regifting rules, Hannah.

Yes, when I read 1 Samuel 1 and 2, especially your prayer in chapter two, I start to recognize your God-honoring act of regifting. Mind you, my selfish heart is still stunned at the enormity of your gift to God. What a surprise to note that your beautiful prayer of adoration is not at all focused on what you relinquished, but on who God is and how He cares for His people.

Hannah, thank you for regifting, so that God can use your example to teach me.

Lord, help me to truly understand that every blessing that I have comes from you and belongs to you. In the name of Jesus, your precious, life-saving gift, Amen.

[Originally posted May 2015]

September 28, 2015 by Kristina Lunde 1,099 Comments

Minnesota Spring

Thick fluffy snowflakes cloud the night sky. My son, hopeful for a snow day and school cancellation the next morning, wishes the spring snow to continue, thicker and colder. Wistfully remembering my early season snow excitement last November and December, I grouse at the April nuisance that postpones the long awaited end of winter. Morning yields over one inch of slushy, white mush on the ground. Daytime highs in the 50s melt the offensive layer with spring promise of greenery and warmth in the annual exchange for frigid temperatures and stark vegetation.

Two days later, the sun warms life to a record seventy plus degrees. Neighbors show themselves outside for the first time in months, greeting fellow around-the-block-walkers with mutually complimentary weather acknowledgements. Children assemble in yards and driveways after the indoor play season. The little boy down the street looks smaller, until I realize that the toddler in the driveway is last year’s baby, and the preschooler peddling his wheels toward me is last year’s toddler. New strollers in the neighborhood identify expanded families. Empty nesters proudly parade a new puppy. Sadly, we circle the long block with one less dog this spring.

Winter and spring.

Growth and change.

Life and death.

Seasons of our lives.

[Originally posted April 2015]

September 28, 2015 by Kristina Lunde 806 Comments

Kids and Bible Memory Verses: Viola’s Got it!

Dear Haley,

So you were wondering how to squeeze your three year old Viola’s memory verses into your week of work, caring for Viola and her little sister, and life in general – not to mention that you are pregnant?! (Pregnancy alone will exhaust a mom!)

First of all, you are to be congratulated for getting Viola to AWANAs on Wednesday nights. That in itself is an achievement! Please be good to yourself and stay realistic about your family goals. (That growing baby in you is commandeering much of your energy and resources.)

Viola has a great time at AWANAs. She is bright and eager – a quick learner and an engaged thinker. What I love is the way her face shines when she says her memory verses. Viola truly delights in God’s Word (Psalm 1:2.) For me, there is no greater reward to this volunteer gig.

AWANA is a great program, but it was never designed to put pressure on you. (You have a preschooler, a toddler, and you are pregnant. I’m tired just thinking about your workload!) Please don’t berate yourself for not reviewing the memory verse with your oldest. The Bible verses are shortened to 3-8 word lengths, but they can still be a challenge for the little ones to memorize.

I remember being a mom of young children and feeling the time squeeze of getting my kids to memorize Bible verses. Memorization is a good thing, something I value, but often memory work became one more chore, one more sheet on the fridge not to forget, one more item on the never-ending list of things to do with and for my kids. (That is, if the list stayed on the fridge . . . if I didn’t forget . . . if we got to it in time before the due date . . .)

(Note to my younger self:) God’s Word is very important, but as parents, we need to focus on building a lifelong love of God’s Word in our children, not just getting them to earn checkmarks on a page. Memorizing God’s Word is a process that starts when our children are little. They will build on the seeds sown now, as we role model the importance of learning from the Bible. Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it, as Proverbs 22:6 encourages us.

God’s Word is not meant to merely leave our lips, but to live in our hearts.

As volunteers, we try to help these preschool students understand who God is and how He loves them, using the AWANA Cubbies curriculum to present these concepts through story-telling, puppet shows, singing, and even while playing games in the gym. We repeatedly explain concepts like sin, shepherd, and creation, so they can understand what the verse talks about. Sometimes we barely get to practice the pronunciation of the words, let alone memorize the verse. Please know that we do our best for little Viola and her classmates.

Lord, may your word not be something that merely leaves Viola’s lips, but that deeply roots your love in her heart. Bless Haley with the rest, energy, and encouragement she needs to be the amazing mother you have called her to be. Amen.

[Originally posted April 2015]

September 28, 2015 by Kristina Lunde 1,237 Comments

Man-child, Vomit, and the School Nurse

Man-child cooked himself a big breakfast that morning before school, but suddenly he felt ill. “I’m going to throw up!” he yelled as he ran in the bathroom, and accomplished said task.

“Please go lie down. Stay home and rest, at least for awhile until you feel better. Then you can go into school later if you feel okay.” I urged, knowing that he would not take my advice.

I walked over toward him with my hand held out. “Let me feel if you have a fever.” No warmth, perspiration, or sign of a fever. No further vomiting. “You should still stay home,” I pleaded.

“No, I have to go to school. I’ll just check in with the nurse and get a pass,” countered man-child.

“That’s my line! This is role reversal again. Just stay home and rest for awhile – you can go in later.” Conceding this mother versus man-child battle, albeit minor in scope, I let him go to school.

The scenario continued to be amusing when I called in to the high school nursing office. I recognized the nurse Shelly as one of my workout friends from the YMCA. “Oh, hi Shelly. I’m the delinquent mom who sent my sick kid to school.”

“It was actually refreshing to have a student want to go to class. Usually they are in here trying to get out of going to class.” Shelly’s sense of humor was a welcome contrast to my frustration.

“Well, I tried at home. He doesn’t have a fever, but I wanted to keep him at home to at least sleep for a bit. But I couldn’t talk any sense into him. I was hoping you could.” My irritated attitude toward my son persisted.

“He was going to try class. I wrote out a pass for him just in case; he’ll come back to my office if he still feels sick.”

“Great. He’ll infect everyone in choir. Oh well. I tried. I just wanted to let you know,” I mumbled in guilty resignation.

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll take care of him. If he comes back and is sick, I’ll send him home.” With her optimistic nature and confident reassurance, Shelly absolved me of my guilt.

Who prepares you for these parenting challenges?! I certainly was taken by surprise when strong-willed man-child argued to go to school when given the option of staying home, stopped by the nurse’s office with an announcement of his illness yet insisted on attending class, and persevered through school after a vomiting episode. Strange acts of defiance against a mom who merely wanted him to stay home and rest.

Thank God for helpful, caring professionals in my community that help me with my parenting. And who keep me from losing my patience with puke-boy.

[Originally posted March 2015]